Risks of Harm from Spanking Confirmed by Analysis of Five Decades of Research

[laundry_queen]

20. Interesting study

that I read about when I was taking my social psychology course - they did a study of a bunch of families and after some research put their parental styles in 4 categories: 1 -authoritarian, 2-strict but loving, 3-loving/indulgent, 4-borderline neglectful (ie kids running wild)

The researchers followed the families for many years until the children were adults. They theorized that the best ways to raise children, in this order, would be #2, 3, 1, 4

What astounded them, was they didn't realize how detrimental a 'strict' (defined as occasional spankings, but generally loving) upbringing would be. They found that the most successful kids were actually from group #3, followed, surprisingly by group #4. Then #2 and #1.

So, indulging and ignoring children is far less harmful than previously thought. So people who whine about 'those brats running around need a good spanking' are totally wrong. Thankfully, I was always able to stand my ground. I had to live with my parents for a short period of time (they offered) and it became clear after a bit of time I had to set some boundaries, as they figured they could treat my kids as they had treated me (my dad was an a-1 authoritarian). At one point I had to say to them, "Excuse me, you may not talk to them that way. These are my children. MINE, not yours. You had your chance to raise yours your way, and now I'm raising mine my way."

Now, one might say, 'their house their rules' but I will say my kids were not breaking any rules when this happened, nor were they misbehaving. My mom set out some Christmas candies, told my kids to help themselves and then 2 minutes later my dad decided that he was going to put the candy away because it was too close to dinner (it was an hour away, and I didn't mind) and the youngest 2 kids started crying because they didn't get much. He thought that was unacceptable and started yelling at them. #1, I said it was okay #2, they were told to help themselves. I told him he was not allowed to control them in that way. Anyhow...he had a bit of a snit fit, but he didn't dare intervene again after that. I only put the explanation because i know there are people reading thinking that my kids were probably misbehaving and being brats..nope. They rarely misbehave. They are so good that everyone goes out of their way to comment on how well behaved my kids are (teachers, coaches, relatives, neighbors, other parents). But..you know. They are spoiled.

Sorry, got off on a tangent there.