Risks of Harm from Spanking Confirmed by Analysis of Five Decades of Research

[hunter]

91. "You broke it, you fix it" is a much tougher expectation than "you might get punished."

Especially when you, as a kid, can't fix something. Then you learn about forgiveness. People may or may not forgive you, later you may or may not forgive yourself.

My kids are grown, were straight-A students in high school, graduates of excellent colleges, but they were not angels, not at all.

For example, if they lost their car privileges as teens, either our cars, or going out in their friend's cars, it's because they'd done something irresponsible with cars and I didn't want them on the road. Cars are not toys. That wasn't punishment, that was protective.

It's much easier to punish a kid and be done with it than it is to explain to them where they went wrong and how to fix it, and then not letting go of the issue until you, as a parent, are certain they understand.

I've never ever worried about possible punishment, not as a kid, not as an adult. Likewise I've never learned the thrill of escaping punishment, of "getting away" with something. Shoplifting? Unprotected sex? What's the point? I worry a little about damaging myself. I worry a lot more about damaging others.