Today is George W. Bush's 70th birthday. Offer your heartfelt well-wishes here. [View all]

[WilliamPitt]

Me first.

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Dear Murdering Fuck:

I've spent so many long years shitting down your throat that anything I say today will be redundant to hall-of-mirrors proportions. What is there left to say? You're a liar, a thief, and a serial killer on a scale not seen on this good Earth in ages. Your very existence is an insult, and the fact that you've gotten to enjoy 70 years on the same planet as those you consigned to brutal death makes me pray to an afterlife I don't believe in that you will reap your true reward in a place where pain and punishment are measured in eons.

But no. You'll die someday in a comfortable bed with the best health care available, sure and certain that Jesus is waiting to welcome you. Me? I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire in front of me. You are a polyp in the colon of folly, you are brute greed personified, and if justice truly existed you would be in jail on this most auspicious of days.

Happy birthday, you blood-sodden killer of children. I hope you rot, and I hope it hurts. Blow out your candles and know that someday the bell will toll for thee, too. When that day comes, I will traverse fire, flood and mayhem for the opportunity to shit on your grave.

Very Sincerely Yours,

Me