My husband is losing his job of 31 years........any advice on what to do?

[lynne]

14. So sorry. I was laid off two years ago -

- I'd worked at the firm since the late 1970's. I did take off some time when my children were young but I had been there about 25 years all combined.

The emotional toll of being tossed out from a place you've given your best years to is almost worse than the financial toll. It was like being divorced. I not only lost my income, I lost daily contact with people that had become my surrogate family.

Things to remember - be open to changing professions. If you're laid off, it's a good sign that particular profession isn't doing so hot in your area and jobs in that field won't be easy to find.

Don't wait for full time work as few offer it initially. Most hire part time, at least in the beginning. You can take part time and hope to work up to full (that's what I did) or take two part time jobs until you can get the hours you need.

Buff up on your technology. I had to fib by saying I was trained in a software program and then study it like crazy so that I knew it. Technology is key and all the younger people looking for jobs are expert at it.

Don't discuss your age. Don't even make reference to it. Don't say "I remember when . . ." Ageism is horrific and rampant (I was your husbands age when laid off) and I lost at least one job to it. Don't talk about your adult children and certainly not your grandchildren until you have landed the job.

This may be more important for a woman but I had to make sure my hair was freshly dyed - no gray roots. I buffed up on current fashion, updated my interview wardrobe, updated my hair style. It took months but I finally got another job. Part time. Less hours. Less pay per hour. No benefits. I'm thankful I have it. And I really enjoy it as it's a different type and field of work than I did before. Plus, I have been promoted and am getting more hours now.

It's not easy and I truly feel for you. Even after two+ years, I'm still not over the being discarded. One of the most hurtful and destroying experiences I've ever had and I have been divorced. Good Luck!