Liberal guilt?

[pat_k]

12. "The Trump Question: Are You Listening?"

Your post brought this to mind:

The Trump Question: Are You Listening?
May 2, 2016
by Soneile Hymn

...at the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) presentation lead by Lou Zweier, a novel idea began to scratch at my cerebral cortex. Through the lens of NVC, behind all communication there is a need that wants to be fulfilled: security, respect, love, understanding, connection, attention, accomplishment, safety, creativity, the list goes on. I began to wonder, what are the needs that are attracting people to Trump?

What would happen if instead of being shamed and called racist, misogynist and/or uneducated, Trump supporters were listened to? I think we would find that they are people who feel ignored, who are afraid for their future, who are weary of this seemingly inextricable bond that exists between the government and corporations that perpetually funnels the riches and power of the world into the hands of the those very few at the top. Maybe we would find that Trump supporters are our neighbors and friends. Maybe we would find that we have a lot in common.

Nonviolent communication (NVC) offers a way to build compassion connections – even with people who express beliefs "we" abhor.

The principles and techniques involved are, on one level, extremely simple. But to actually do it, you need to change deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and styles of communication. Helpful materials are easy to find at the Center for Nonviolent Communication web site (http://www.cnvc.org). Learning new skills, and unlearning deeply ingrained patterns that alienate us from each other, takes practice. There are facilitator-led practice groups in many communities. And where there are no local groups, it's not hard to connect with groups that meet by phone.

A few times over the years I "tried it out" as a way to develop deeper connections with people already in my life. I didn’t stick with it long enough to get “good” at it, but the shift in intention alone made a powerful difference.

But NVC is not just for personal relationships. It has been used to build bridges in many types of seemingly irreconcilable “us” v “them” conflicts.

I’d like to be a “nonviolent communicator” – a “good person” with the skills necessary to build compassionate connections with people “we” write of as (pejorative term of your choice). It’s an attractive image, but clearly not attractive enough for me to do the work necessary to learn and apply the skills. (At least to date.)

Even though I’ve had a glimpse of the types of transformation NVC can bring about, I continue to stick with ways of thinking and interacting I know are alienating and destructive.

That thought is very disturbing.

An expression of "liberal guilt"? Maybe.

Am I disturbed enough to “get back into” NVC and find people who are using NVC to connect with people in trumpland?

I don’t know. But your post struck a chord and has me thinking about it.

One thing I can say is that anyone struggling with similar feelings and thoughts might find it interesting to take a little time to explore what NVC is all about.