General Discussion

saras

(6,670 posts)

36. If you have too many to care about, the results should show. Judge the results, not the numbers.

Thu Dec 29, 2011, 03:45 AM

Dec 2011

I was one of four kids, each of whom got a distinctly different set of inappropriateness, due to our birth order. In some ways the first got the worst of it, though, the ignorance and rigidity, so more is better there. The rest of us benefited from NOT being the first. Having too many older siblings wasn't good either, as we didn't get along that well. And so on. I'm sure that every dysfunctional family has their own completely distinct version.

But I think the only realistic criteria compatible with liberty and diversity is actual misbehavior or dysfunction on the part of the children, or the parents. I think that if you have thirteen kids, there's probably a lot of 'normal kid experiences' you can't, or don't provide them. How much right to parents have to do that, independent of how many kids they have? How does it affect them?

You can have two, and the second one be so demanding that the first gets neglected. Hell, you can have one, and have a parent get so sick that the kid gets neglected.

I don't get why it's always so tempting to try to prohibit a whole class of people instead of isolating what in that class is the actual problem. Bicycles ride too fast for pedestrians? Don't slow them down, ban them. A few people abusing a drug? Ban it for everyone. A few crazies use a certain kind of gun? Ban the gun. Why not just ban assholicity and be done with it?

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How many kids are too many? [View all] hyphenate Dec 2011 OP

I love my kids but sometimes I wonder how my life would have ended up if I never had any kids BoWanZi Dec 2011 #1

5 for me and 3 grand kids The Straight Story Dec 2011 #2

look at it from the Kids' point of view: is this a frikkin world you'd wanna be born & live in? marasinghe Dec 2011 #3

I was born in 1965, and the world didn't look too great then The Straight Story Dec 2011 #5

In 1965, could your parents afford to buy a house? REP Dec 2011 #10

Probably quakerboy Dec 2011 #26

If you're lucky enough to have a job REP Dec 2011 #33

A Living-Wage-Job. RC Dec 2011 #55

Even if you are not quakerboy Dec 2011 #78

I wish. dkf Dec 2011 #37

Yes, I was born in 1941. We were just coming out of a depression. However I do understand the jwirr Dec 2011 #61

absolutely not. nt DesertFlower Dec 2011 #21

I don't really think that can be answered. yewberry Dec 2011 #4

Under most circumstances I would say 4 should be the max bluestateguy Dec 2011 #6

Is that 4 per male or female? My 5 were with 3 different people The Straight Story Dec 2011 #8

I'm not really asking the government to interfere hyphenate Dec 2011 #15

Under most circumstances I would say 4 should be the max bluestateguy Dec 2011 #7

Why have China do it? Capitalism is enforcing its own population control. Zalatix Dec 2011 #32

It depends on the parents... CoffeeCat Dec 2011 #9

Yeah, the essence, I guess of what I'm thinking hyphenate Dec 2011 #18

I'm going with more than 1 is too many. Solely on replacement levels in order to sustain Luminous Animal Dec 2011 #11

Replacement rate is between 2.1 and 2.2 kids. joeglow3 Dec 2011 #17

In order to sustain the environment. Zero to one is enough. Luminous Animal Dec 2011 #23

I think I missing the point of your question. joeglow3 Dec 2011 #27

How many children did they have to educate? Luminous Animal Dec 2011 #28

My great grandparents - 18. My grandparents - 7. joeglow3 Dec 2011 #56

You are assuming that older folks cannot take penguin7 Dec 2011 #91

Evidence seems to say otherwise joeglow3 Dec 2011 #92

The individual family isn't important. The collective is what is. Gregorian Dec 2011 #12

The main thing I disagree with you on hyphenate Dec 2011 #24

"Underpopulated"? primavera Dec 2011 #48

The only issue with that analysis is the number of resources used by those in developed countries. antigone382 Dec 2011 #63

These discussions we're having are valuable. I'd like to see much more of this. Gregorian Dec 2011 #65

Underpopulation is only a problem because we've based our economies on the idea of infinite growth NickB79 Dec 2011 #68

^^^ THIS! ^^^ MH1 Dec 2011 #98

2 kids per set of parents would actually reduce the population Posteritatis Dec 2011 #67

All that social engineering and with zero data to back it up. nt Dreamer Tatum Dec 2011 #76

What 'social engineering'? MH1 Dec 2011 #99

Sometimes, you don't have a choice, really... MADem Dec 2011 #13

yeah, pretty much! hyphenate Dec 2011 #31

1 is 1 too many.. HipChick Dec 2011 #14

+1 ... er wait... +1 doesn't sound right here slay Dec 2011 #41

As many as you can feed, clothe and love blueamy66 Dec 2011 #16

I'm disappointed that you made the edit to your post. noamnety Dec 2011 #50

sorry.....I'm allowed to have my opinion blueamy66 Dec 2011 #79

Yes, you're allowed to have your opinion noamnety Dec 2011 #85

fair enough blueamy66 Dec 2011 #86

"Is having children a right?" noamnety Dec 2011 #87

Um, why did you need WIC? blueamy66 Dec 2011 #89

Depends what you count as "afford" noamnety Dec 2011 #96

I apologize. blueamy66 Jan 2012 #102

By that reasoning, poor people should not have kids The Straight Story Dec 2011 #93

No, by that reasoning, poor people shouldn't have a BUNCH of kids blueamy66 Dec 2011 #95

No more than you can hope to successfully support n/t SoCalDem Dec 2011 #19

i had one. that was enough for me. DesertFlower Dec 2011 #20

I come from a large family, too, and the older ones are the ones who are more fucked up. Warren DeMontague Dec 2011 #22

Ironically, there may not be enough children to sustain Humankind ... T S Justly Dec 2011 #25

You should put that question to Nadya Suleman. She might know. Kablooie Dec 2011 #29

Somewhere between 5 and 20 jmowreader Dec 2011 #30

three is too many Ichingcarpenter Dec 2011 #34

0.25-0.5 boppers Dec 2011 #35

If you have too many to care about, the results should show. Judge the results, not the numbers. saras Dec 2011 #36

Any more than 2 and you're growing the world population. rucky Dec 2011 #38

With how busy the parents are nowadays treestar Dec 2011 #39

I stopped after one... Violet_Crumble Dec 2011 #40

3 would be too many because then we would need a mini van liberal N proud Dec 2011 #42

Statistics show that the more educated the mother, the fewer (yes, fewer) the children she has. fasttense Dec 2011 #43

It's also the single biggest detirminant... MedicalAdmin Dec 2011 #46

We had two and we both wish we'd had at least one more tularetom Dec 2011 #44

2 Odin2005 Dec 2011 #45

personal choice Maine-ah Dec 2011 #47

one per person ThomThom Dec 2011 #49

However many I have is perfect and everyone else is wrong. gkhouston Dec 2011 #51

Four yella_dawg Dec 2011 #52

I don't pretend to know... LanternWaste Dec 2011 #53

In my case one was enough. That said, I think it's a matter of LibDemAlways Dec 2011 #54

Good Question FiggyJay Dec 2011 #57

However many the Duggars have. Iggo Dec 2011 #58

Between 3 and 5 is ideal Eliminator Dec 2011 #59

More than you want is too many slackmaster Dec 2011 #60

Her body. Their family. Their lives. Their choice. None of my business (nt) Nye Bevan Dec 2011 #62

Agreed. HappyMe Dec 2011 #81

I always wanted 5 or 6 kids. I have only had one. Lyric Dec 2011 #64

one is too many.... mike_c Dec 2011 #66

Arrogance compels me to breed... PurityOfEssence Dec 2011 #74

My grandparents had 6 and did a good job of parenting Nikia Dec 2011 #69

Nothing in the double digits. Neoma Dec 2011 #70

For me, one is too many. I dislike children intensely. Rochester Dec 2011 #71

As most parents would put it: you haven't met mine... PurityOfEssence Dec 2011 #75

I agree... not all children are charming, not by a long shot, but some are fantastic renate Dec 2011 #77

Depends on the family -- in Mr. and Mrs. Paul's case, for instance, Rand alone is one too many fishwax Dec 2011 #72

I only have one and my biological clock is running out OhioBlue Dec 2011 #73

I was the baby of three B Calm Dec 2011 #80

Watch the Duggars or whoever they are. Vinca Dec 2011 #82

Not for us to decide. Her body - Her choice - lynne Dec 2011 #83

Thank you. Skidmore Dec 2011 #84

Having a discussion about what is 'right' or 'best' MH1 Dec 2011 #100

But on the other hand, MH1 Dec 2011 #101

It is a womans choice. Marrah_G Dec 2011 #88

Zero toddaa Dec 2011 #90

hmm, I have 3, and one step-son GobBluth Dec 2011 #94

Overpopulation is our greatest problem. Everyone's greatest problem. tabasco Dec 2011 #97