Do you think it's possible that Sandusky's wife didn't know?

[FedUpWithIt All]

24. There is also the letter where he compares his relationship with a victim

to the relationship he had with his father. That immediately sent off a flag to me.

BJ Story (Sandusky's own title)

Very few people know about this story and probably less care. I guess that's why I'm writing it for me. I'm Jer.

(Accuser 4) is a young man that came into Jer's life. It was a difficult time for Jer because he had lost his dad. Jer and his dad shared so much, did many things together. (Accuser 4) comes along and he and Jer seem to enjoy the same experiences. But seemed to be in need. They loved playing games, competing, singing, laughing, sharing experiences, just being themselves. Jer remembers driving (Accuser 4) home. (Accuser 4) would say, “tell me another story, Jer.” Jer, of course, being filled with them would come up with one. Jer remembers how he didn't want those rides to end.

Jer became attached to (Accuser 4) and always will be. (Accuser 4) loved Justice and Staush, and they love him. He and Jer played polish soccer, wrote papers together, rode (Accuser 4)'s four wheeler even though Jer was scared to death, studied in the playground, roller skated, ice skated, jet-skied, went to a bowl game, spent days at football and soccer camp, canoed, traveled, and more. He met and did things with Penn State football players and spend many hours with them and Jer. It was (Accuser 4), jer, La Var, Mac, Courtney, David, Anthony, Josh, etc; it was “we”.

Times were not always perfect. There were ups and downs. There were arguments, fights, they cared! No matter what there was a connection that would help them last through the difficult times. There was always a sensitive, caring feeling deep inside. Jer had learned through many experiences that life isn't perfect, even with someone he considered to be his “best fiends”.

Life is far from perfect at this stage. Something or things have come into (Accuser 4)'s life that appear to have taken him over. It's powerful, a cloud of smoke that has engulfed him, for jer it has been a dark cloud. (Accuser 4) seemed to fight it, coming over trying to do hockey, but couldn't pull it off. He seems to be losing these battles more and more. Inch by inch they could have choked him and taken over. It has smothered sensitivity and love. Taken away his caring and enthusiasm. His enthusiasm has been replaced by sleep, his caring replaced by apathy (No concern.). “Tell me another story, Jer,” has been replaced by “I don't care!” This cloud has destroyed soccer and hockey, choking smiles and laughter. There is fear that it has reached his insides, killing his feelings.

Jer believes that there will always be something special inside (Accuser 4). He hopes that it will last, return, if it has left. The players miss him. They say, “come back, (Accuser 4)!” “Stay with us, (Accuser 4)!” Jer would love to have the good times back. The players shout, “Be with us to the end!” Jer would have loved to hear, “Tell me another story, Jer.” Jer may not be worthy, but he needs a “best friend.” It doesn't look real good.

Jer understands life and its changes. He's proud, too proud, to beg for a friend, extended family member. The story will end the way that (Accuser 4) wants it. Jer wants to be there to the end, but that's (Accuser 4)'s call. If (Accuser 4) ever needs him, he'll come.

Regardless, they have had an experience that others won't. Jer will not forget and always care!

I wish, with all my heart that these young men are able to heal now.