Get Ready To Pay $60,000 Per Annum For Relative's Long Term Care.

[Marthe48]

55. Took care of several relatives in my life

My great aunt had had a stroke. She was batty, but not hard to watch over. I was 8 when my parents designated me as her companion.

My grandmother had CHF, and she just gradually wound down. Even though she was my Mom's ex mother-in-law, she and my Mom lived together next to my house. I helped, but my Mom was her main assistant.

I took care of my Mom in my house for 6 years. I worked from home, and my husband had a day job. My mom was really ill when she came to live with us, had a non-Addison adrenal dysfunction that was really hard to get diagnosed. Mom developed septic arthritis and couldn't have surgery for blocked carotid ateries, so she developed dementia because of the blockage. The last year I had her with me, she got the sun-down behavior and got really confused toward the afternoon and evening. So I was chasing after her a lot, which was bad, because I worked afternoons at a hectic job. Even though I was at home, it was definitely 4-12, with constant deadlines. She stayed at my sister's a couple of times, and was left on her own, because my sister didn't understand how ill Mom was. SHe Mom went out of my sister's home in the winter with no coat or shoes. Luckily a neighbor recognized her and got her inside. After that, we moved her to a nursing home and she passed away a year later.

My mother-in-law has dementia. She will be 94 the end of the month. She had an apt. and lived there with her dog. My husband and I were her main care givers, but he didn't want to be and resented having to care for her. I didn't mind for me, but there was some tension because of how John, my husband, felt. There was no way she would come to live with us. I offered, but John said no. I guess the 6 years for my Mom was enough for him. In Nov. 2015, Mom lost it and couldn't live on her own anymore. None of her kids felt capable of caring for her, so they decided on nursing care. We put her in a Alzheimer's unit at a local nursing home. One of our nieces works in the until, so Mom sees a familiar face almost every day. She is well-cared for and we did the right thing. John's sister took Mom's dog. John was diagnosed with cancer in March of 2016, and passed away in Jan. 2017. So it is just one long sad story.

We live in Ohio. When she entered the nursing home, we had to use up her savings. Then we signed her up for Medicaid. She pays close to $1000.00/month of her S.S. for her care. They calculated enough for her to pay for her secondary health and her life ins. and care for her dog. We had to assign her life ins. to a funeral home, so when she passes, she will have the service she wanted. She is allowed to have $2000.00 in assets. She has an account at the nursing home which she can use for hair, snacks, whatever she wants. There is a clause in Medicaid that the estate can be asked to repay costs. Most states haven't used that clause, but WV has and heirs are bitter about that.

From my experience, the choice of caring for a loved one at home should not be taken lightly. If the person needs a companion, somebody is going to have to be there. Locally, a home aide earns $10-$40/hr. And you get what you pay for. It is full-time, no time off. Ann Landers says caregivers get a seat at the right hand of God, but sorry, that doesn't balance the heartache.

Paul Ryan, the other reptilians, their families and any anti-American Russian loving trump supporters who supports repealing ACA and destroying Medicaid can all screw themselves on their way to hell.