Ivanka Trump's D.C. landlord is tycoon behind planned Ely copper mine

[Eliot Rosewater]

1. There is a race in DC.

Devos, Carson, Tillerson and Pruitt have a side bet, which one can do more harm to our environment and institutions the quickest while simultaneously enriching only people who are already very very rich.

The stakes are lunch at the local favorite restaurant, where they can all gather and laugh about the death and misery their direct actions caused.

Half the country will be laughing right along with them, until said actions cut off their air supply or water or food or healthcare.