A breach of trust (in our home)...(Update)

[Ms. Toad]

48. We had a similar situation

You should have an opportunity to give a victim impact statement.

Ours was a break-in, but connected to neighbor kids we had helped. (They weren't involved, but the perpetrators were in the neighborhood visiting our neighbors - and our neighbors hid a tape recorder while they chatted with the perpetrators and then handed the tape recorder over to the police. That, in itself, was amazing since the neighbors each have their own rap sheet - but we treat them with respect so they are protective of us.)

Anyway, they took computers and cameras that had the only copies of photos from my parents 50th anniversary celebration that I hadn't had time to process yet. So I talked about insurance money being able to replace stuff - but nothing could replace the photos they'd taken. It made a visible impact as he was listening - who knows, long term.

As far as should you feel something other than what you're feeling - there aren't any "shoulds" about how you feel as the victim of a crime. You feel what you feel - and you may feel differently over time. I am a rape survivor, and for years having anyone go through my stuff when I was not around (like a cleaning person) triggered PTSD. I would have predicted that someone breaking into our home, going through our stuff with nefarious intentions, would have been an even more significant trigger. But it wasn't. a half-dozen years later it still hasn't. But I had a major trigger 20 years after the rape - after it being pretty much a non-issue for around a decade that caught me completely off guard.

It is what it is. Just accept what you're feeling - and know that it may not be permanent.