"Big Little Lies" and domestic violence counseling [View all]
In case you watched the HBO miniseries "Big Little Lies", my FaceBook friend who is an expert on domestic violence, was not happy with the counselor they showed in the show. These were her specific issues with the way she treated the wife (Nicole Kidman character):
"1. Do not pathologize her, 2. Do not do couples counseling with couples like them, 3. Refer her to a DV program so they can do some safety planning and a lethality assessment, 4. Never lay guilt on her about the kids, 5. Pay close attention when she starts to blame herself or say that she's "just as violent", 6. Give her the opportunity to see the power and control dynamics at work in her relationship, 7. LISTEN TO HER/DO NOT DIRECT HER, 8. Treat the abuse like the genuine threat it is. Those of us who do this work saw this train leave the station in Episode 1. If this is an example of how therapists talk with (not to) abused women (money or not), they need a primer on the complexities of domestic violence and how the empowerment/trauma-informed approach is the only way to create space for her to determine the best, safest way forward. Leaving an abuser in not an event, it's a process."
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