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yortsed snacilbuper

(7,947 posts)

50. Religions of the World

Mon Apr 17, 2017, 10:18 PM

Apr 2017

Taoism: Shit happens.
Hinduism: Shit happens again and again.
Buddhism: This shit doesn't have to keep happening.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Mormonism: You couldn't make up shit like this.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you.
Unitarianism: Come, let us reason together about this shit.
Christianity: Jesus died to save you from your shit.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if you work hard.
Quaker: Let us not fight over this shit.
Hedonism: Fuck this shit.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Capitalism: We can sell this shit.
Rastafarianism: This is good shit.
Agnosticism: I don't know about this shit.
Atheism: I don't believe this shit.

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My "WTF?" of the day, Christianity is *NOT* a religion? [View all] Archae Apr 2017 OP

Well, there's nothing loonier than somebody else's religion Warpy Apr 2017 #1

'twas my good fortune to be brought up in loony religion. hunter Apr 2017 #46

Cra-cra northoftheborder Apr 2017 #2

For sure... yuiyoshida Apr 2017 #35

The claim that Christianity is not a religion at it's core standingtall Apr 2017 #3

I was taught Christianity is a follower of Jesus Christ, Drahthaardogs Apr 2017 #29

When Christians say standingtall Apr 2017 #32

Sorry, but that doesn't make sense. "Christianity" isn't a person, so can't be "a follower...." WinkyDink Apr 2017 #48

It's not really a religion either. It's a belief system. Drahthaardogs Apr 2017 #54

Nothing particularly new there FBaggins Apr 2017 #4

My late husband was the son of and brother to Protestant ministers, and we never heard this absurd WinkyDink Apr 2017 #49

Wow... huge statistical sample there. FBaggins Apr 2017 #55

Yeah. Ok. Whatever dude. smirkymonkey Apr 2017 #5

Get a bowl, a spoon, and some milk... longship Apr 2017 #6

This isn't really that surprising. beam me up scottie Apr 2017 #7

As an atheist trixie2 Apr 2017 #16

That's a good line! beam me up scottie Apr 2017 #18

Adding this to my repertoire trixie2 Apr 2017 #24

It's not theft, I borrowed it from another atheist and we like to share. beam me up scottie Apr 2017 #27

A belated welcome to DU btw. beam me up scottie Apr 2017 #33

Thanks but not new trixie2 Apr 2017 #44

You should give it back to whoever you stole it from. former9thward Apr 2017 #23

I reject your definition! trixie2 Apr 2017 #28

Oh I'm sure you do reject the definition. former9thward Apr 2017 #56

Like arguing over who is better, Santa Claus or Easter bunny trixie2 Apr 2017 #61

This quote is attributed to Stephen Roberts: beam me up scottie Apr 2017 #30

Really just the three related Middle Eastern ones. synergie Apr 2017 #20

Which is "just" the majority of the world... former9thward Apr 2017 #25

They seem to belueve they comprise all religion and all humanity. synergie Apr 2017 #60

Does that mean he'll give up the special privileges he gets under the 1st Amendment muriel_volestrangler Apr 2017 #8

It's usually said by people on the right as a loophole to get around the Establishment Clause ck4829 Apr 2017 #9

Yup. Good catch. beam me up scottie Apr 2017 #10

This message was self-deleted by its author ymetca Apr 2017 #11

Religion - 1) the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, haele Apr 2017 #12

Well assuming that Jesus (the man) was a genuine historic person who taught Jack-o-Lantern Apr 2017 #13

I hav no problem with Jesus jls4561 Apr 2017 #26

I've heard this type of terminology amongst very committed Christians to make... Humanist_Activist Apr 2017 #14

No. You "heard this" from people 100% ignorant of Christianity, the English language, and logic. WinkyDink Apr 2017 #51

I have no doubt that they are ignorant, but that doesn't prevent them from being Christian... Humanist_Activist Apr 2017 #57

Republican Christianity is definitely *NOT* a religion. Initech Apr 2017 #15

"Christianity is a relationship of Gods people, with Him as father, Jesus as Lord"...blah blah blah Zing Zing Zingbah Apr 2017 #17

These guys do not seem to have a working knowledge of English synergie Apr 2017 #19

That's why I demand conservatives speak English Only... JHB Apr 2017 #21

Take their tax status away now. Nt NCTraveler Apr 2017 #22

Bullshit. It's a business. n/t rzemanfl Apr 2017 #31

Adding his rant about the Trinity is safeinOhio Apr 2017 #34

Standard apologetics. MineralMan Apr 2017 #36

This from the man ProudLib72 Apr 2017 #41

But that's an obvious joke. MineralMan Apr 2017 #42

I know you were joking ProudLib72 Apr 2017 #43

He's been kinda quiet since the last election. rogue emissary Apr 2017 #37

I'll bet that Jackson sure thought "it's a religion" on his tax return. VOX Apr 2017 #38

*snort* jberryhill Apr 2017 #39

I would say that Christianity is a classification or TheDebbieDee Apr 2017 #40

In and of itself Christianity is a religion. WinkyDink Apr 2017 #52

Well, if it's not a religion, then its not Tax Exempt. Thor_MN Apr 2017 #45

No matter what or if one believes, there is no question that....oh, you know the rest. WinkyDink Apr 2017 #47

Religions of the World yortsed snacilbuper Apr 2017 #50

Isn't it just adorable, how many people PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2017 #53

lol, his second statement proves his first statement Skittles Apr 2017 #58

re li gion Doreen Apr 2017 #59