Will they show up for him in six months when he's still done nothing for them?

[Buns_of_Fire]

25. Trumpie, m'man, the crowds are getting thinner. Gotta jazz it up.

Here's what I propose.

First, your opening act needs to lead the audience in a sing-along. I suggest this, displayed on the Jumbotron screens...

Note: Having Ted Nugent lead it to the tune of "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" (if there IS a tune somewhere in there) isn't cutting it anymore. Fire him.

Anyway, when the crowd is at their peak of pre-orgasmic intensity and the random fires caused by exploding BIC lighters have been extinguished, you make your entrance, dressed appropriately of course:

Go ahead and give 'em your standard crap speech. They won't understand what you're saying any more than you do. Just use a lot of your patented "okeedokee" hand gestures. They eat it up. Remember, though, you should always end the performance with your closing theme:

It'll be boffo, believe me. Stick with me, baby, and we'll make you great again.

No charge. You wouldn't pay it, anyway, you crooked sumbitch.