Perhaps the most pathetic thing about Trump's fake Civil War battlefield on his golf course.... [View all]

[Tommy_Carcetti]

....is the "historical marker."



First of all, it's not an official Historical Marker erected by the state. That would look like this:



It's Trump's own marker, made by whomever Trump commissioned (and likely short changed) to put up at his own club.

Secondly, the "River of Blood" thing is just laughably bad fake history. The whole marker sounds like something some smarmy 12 year old kid versed in the art of bullshit would just make up off the top of his head, i.e., "On your left you have the Petco where Michael Jackson bought his pet monkey. True story, he actually went into the store with Marlon Brando, who himself walked out with 15 ferrets. I saw it with my own two eyes. You can ask my friend Bobby if you don't believe me."

Or it sounds like something Ron Burgundy from the movie Anchorman would say, i.e. how "San Diego" translates to "Whale's Vagina" or how "diversity' is "an old wooden ship from the Civil War."

But I think the most laughable thing at all is the fact that Trump insisted he include his own quote on the marker: "It is my great honor to have preserved this important section of the Potomac River!" Complete with an exclamation! Mark! To show! Enthusiasm!

Nothing says narcissistic blowhard quite like insisting you include your own quote and name on a historic marker of something that supposedly (but not really) happened over 150 years ago.

Thankfully, it's highly dubious that any soldiers in the Civil War actually died on the site of Trump's golf course. If they actually did, however, my spirit would be pissed as hell that the place where I drew my last breath was turned into some ridiculous vanity project for Donald Trump.

Donald Trump putting up a fake historical marker for a fake Civil War battlefield on his golf course and insisting it include his own name is perhaps the most Donald Trump thing you'll ever see.