I know this is going to be unpopular but I am friends with and I understand many Trump supporters

[nolabear]

292. Oh you absolutely can and should disagree!

I'm a big believer in asking questions, but trying to understand and reach whatever common ground you can doesn't mean rolling over on anything.

Let's say a friend says he's a good guy and cites something you know is bogus. Even if it is, something in that appeals to the person. Asking what about that thing makes them happy and not arguing with their subjective experience even if it's not yours can open avenues for conversation.

Trump's a great guy. He loves women. Breitbart just said he's done more for women than Obama ever did.

Sounds like women's rights mean a lot to you. What's it been like for you as a woman in this country?

Well better than those Muslims have it. They're trying to get Sharia Law in America.

It would be awful for women who didn't want that wouldn't it? See, for me it's scary when religions we have here try to make laws that inhibit what women can do.

Oh I know where you're going. You want to restrict religious freedom here. It's not the same.

Tell me what you think should happen about that. I'm interested. And if you want to know I'll tell you what my worries are too. And I'm still curious about what you've experienced.

*****

See, you're respectfully plowing a field so you can keep having the conversation. We are naturally inclined to get as upset about words as about acts. Both parties can feel literally attacked by a conversation that really will have no immediate effect on anything. If we can overcome that while calmly insisting on being respected too (in other words there's a time to bail) we can at least plow the field. Whether a relationship is worth the work is a matter of individual preference. I have certainly stopped talking to people, but not with a parting shot. Just doesn't help.

On edit: there are people who won't give a rip about you or your feelings or opinions. Bail. It won't change.