Trump Loyalty Oath Leaked. Here is a transcript of it: [View all]

[MineralMan]

I, {print your name legibly here}, hereby pledge my total allegiance to Donald J. Trump, the legitimately elected President of the United States, who won with more electoral votes of any President. I pledge to support his policies, regardless of their stupidity, and to follow his orders, even if they might cause me to be prosecuted. By pledging my total, unreserved and undeserved loyalty, I also recognize the following statements to be true, and will honor them and defend them to the death:

1. Donald Trump is the smartest, most honest man ever born.
2. Donald Trump is the handsomest man ever.
3. Donald Trump has the physique of a Greek God and the largest hands of any man.
4. Donald Trump rose from the dead after three days and is immortal.
5. Donald Trump's word is his bond, except when he changes it.
6. Donald Trump is hereby granted permission to withhold my pay for any reason.
7. Donald Trump should be President for Life of the United States.
8. Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka is HAWT, but must not be touched by anyone but Donald Trump.
9. Donald Trump's adult sons are the salt of the earth, but are not allowed in the White House.
10. Donald Trump's decisions are final until he changes them.
11. Donald Trump must be obeyed at all times.
12. I will speak no words against Donald Trump, either in the White House or elsewhere.
13. I will praise Donald Trump without ceasing.
14. I accept Donald Trump as my Personal Savior.
15. Donald Trump can fire me at any time without cause or explanation.
16. If I fail to honor any of the statements above, I must pay Donald Trump $10,000,000.
17. I may never look Donald Trump in the eye, nor speak to him without permission.
18. I will love and honor Donald Trump until the day I die.

Date: {write today's date and NOT in military format. That confuses Donald Trump.}
Signed,

{write your name here in cursive}