Separating a child from its mother can be very painful. But nobody wants to talk about it.

[StevieM]

6. If there was a TPR then they almost certainly know who she is.

She was still their legal mother, even when they were in foster care. Her name would be included in the adoption papers.

And the odds of any first mother not wanting contact with their biological children are low. Adoptive children generally do not come from mothers who simply were not interested in parenting. They usually come from mothers who were forced to give up their children due to being in dire financial circumstances and forced to accept a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I firmly believe that adopted children benefit from contact with their blood relatives, and especially their natural mother.

And, yes, I believe in the concept of "the primal wound." I think the pain that many adoptees feel is legitimate, and if an adopted child is struggling then a reunion with their biological family should be strongly considered as a possible method of helping them heal.