Bakker: God Told Me Trump Will Oversee Golden Age of Racial Harmony

[Moostache]

9. Hey Bakker....God called me right after that and told me the truth...

He said, "Watch the words of the hypocrite and proclaim the truth to power." I was kinda high at the time, so I thought, man, the THC content of the weed these days is getting out of hand...then I saw your words and God's voice returned to my head in a booming, yet strangely soothing baritone reminiscent of Barry White and Luther Vandross and it said again : "Watch the words of the hypocrite and proclaim the truth to power."

So I said, "...but Lord, I am an atheist, I do not believe you exist based on the available evidence"...and God replied, "Who do you think made that joint you were enjoying?", to which I had to reply, "Wait a minute...are you a cop? Is this some kind of next-level entrapment scheme???" and God said, "Errr, uh,.,,,um, of course not...", but I digress...

"Watch the words of the hypocrite and proclaim the truth to power."

Jim Bakker, my story about talking to God is just as valid as yours...my problem is marketing. I do not have thousands of idiots following me and nodding their heads earnestly while I fleece them of their money and futures...you do.

So good on you Jimbo, you rat-fucking piece of human waste, but remember this....neither your story, nor mine can be 100% disproven, but I CAN 100% confirm you are a self-serving scumbag and I am not.