Tweet of the day:

[DFW]

11. It seems like a good moment to re-tell my favorite Ann Coulter story

She was at home in Connecticut, and got a call to come in to New York City for a quickly put-together talk show spot on Fox Noise.

She calls her chauffeur and they head out. She tells him to step on in, but taking a curve too quickly in a rural area before the Interstate, he runs into, and kills an aged cow. There is a farm house close by, and they assume, correctly, that they were the owners of the newly deceased cow. She tells her chauffeur to run to the farm house, settle the damages for the cow and hurry back.

The chauffeur rushes to the house, is invited inside, and doesn't return for almost two hours, his uniform and hair seriously disheveled. Furious with rage, Coulter screams at her chauffeur to explain why he needed nearly two hours to settle the affair and why he suddenly looked like such a mess. He explained that he told them what she had told him to say, and they insisted he sit down for a nice home-cooked meal, whereupon their eldest daughter, a gorgeous woman of 25, took him upstairs for a good time.

Nearly apoplectic, Coulter demands the he tell her exactly what he said. "Just what you told me to say, Ms. Coulter," he said. "I told them that I was Ann Coulter's driver, and that I had just killed the old cow."