General Discussion

GobBluth

(109 posts)

94. hmm, I have 3, and one step-son

Sat Dec 31, 2011, 01:38 AM

Dec 2011

Life is what you make it. My Step-son was on only child until he was 7. Then I had two kids in two years. I feel he got the same attention he always did, if anything (and not complaining! just saying) my children got a little less when he stays with us.

Then I had my 3rd (Hubby's 4th) when my youngest (hubby's 3rd) was 7. My older two have missed out on much, as it wasn't feasible to bring an infant/toddler. Luckily I have great friends and family willing to help out, but never the less, they still missed out on some. But they have become little mini parents, and I see the love they have for their little brother. They may complain now sometimes, but I have no doubt they will cherish it later in life.

Then I look to my mother. She was 1 of 5 (4 girls and a boy). They were a farming family. Little time for anyone. The older girls helped raise the younger 3. Yet they are close, happy, smart, and cherish everything. I am pretty close with the 2 oldest children (My aunties!), and I have never heard them complain. Only funny stories about what my mom, uncle, or youngest aunt did while growing up. Oh and TONS of stories about working on a farm. They are amazing women, and whether they felt they had less attention (just using that word) or not, one has always said how it shaped her and she wouldn't trade it in for anything

Same can be said for my father's side. 4 kids, hard working parents, everyone needed to help each other out. Some got more attention than the others. My father was the oldest, his eldest sister and brother born soon after. His youngest sister born 19 years later. She was spoiled by them all, yet the glue that now holds that family together.

I guess I don't understand all the modern requirements for raising children. Seems like we are almost harming them, making them think they are the center of the world, instead of just a part of it. That's what family is. Sometimes it sucks, but hopefully it is more rewarding.

But I may be lucky. My paternal/maternal family, as my husband's, are very close and family oriented. But I'm all 100% positive there are horror stories from only children and children of 10 alike.

2nd glass of wine tonight, hope that was a little coherent!

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How many kids are too many? [View all] hyphenate Dec 2011 OP

I love my kids but sometimes I wonder how my life would have ended up if I never had any kids BoWanZi Dec 2011 #1

5 for me and 3 grand kids The Straight Story Dec 2011 #2

look at it from the Kids' point of view: is this a frikkin world you'd wanna be born & live in? marasinghe Dec 2011 #3

I was born in 1965, and the world didn't look too great then The Straight Story Dec 2011 #5

In 1965, could your parents afford to buy a house? REP Dec 2011 #10

Probably quakerboy Dec 2011 #26

If you're lucky enough to have a job REP Dec 2011 #33

A Living-Wage-Job. RC Dec 2011 #55

Even if you are not quakerboy Dec 2011 #78

I wish. dkf Dec 2011 #37

Yes, I was born in 1941. We were just coming out of a depression. However I do understand the jwirr Dec 2011 #61

absolutely not. nt DesertFlower Dec 2011 #21

I don't really think that can be answered. yewberry Dec 2011 #4

Under most circumstances I would say 4 should be the max bluestateguy Dec 2011 #6

Is that 4 per male or female? My 5 were with 3 different people The Straight Story Dec 2011 #8

I'm not really asking the government to interfere hyphenate Dec 2011 #15

Under most circumstances I would say 4 should be the max bluestateguy Dec 2011 #7

Why have China do it? Capitalism is enforcing its own population control. Zalatix Dec 2011 #32

It depends on the parents... CoffeeCat Dec 2011 #9

Yeah, the essence, I guess of what I'm thinking hyphenate Dec 2011 #18

I'm going with more than 1 is too many. Solely on replacement levels in order to sustain Luminous Animal Dec 2011 #11

Replacement rate is between 2.1 and 2.2 kids. joeglow3 Dec 2011 #17

In order to sustain the environment. Zero to one is enough. Luminous Animal Dec 2011 #23

I think I missing the point of your question. joeglow3 Dec 2011 #27

How many children did they have to educate? Luminous Animal Dec 2011 #28

My great grandparents - 18. My grandparents - 7. joeglow3 Dec 2011 #56

You are assuming that older folks cannot take penguin7 Dec 2011 #91

Evidence seems to say otherwise joeglow3 Dec 2011 #92

The individual family isn't important. The collective is what is. Gregorian Dec 2011 #12

The main thing I disagree with you on hyphenate Dec 2011 #24

"Underpopulated"? primavera Dec 2011 #48

The only issue with that analysis is the number of resources used by those in developed countries. antigone382 Dec 2011 #63

These discussions we're having are valuable. I'd like to see much more of this. Gregorian Dec 2011 #65

Underpopulation is only a problem because we've based our economies on the idea of infinite growth NickB79 Dec 2011 #68

^^^ THIS! ^^^ MH1 Dec 2011 #98

2 kids per set of parents would actually reduce the population Posteritatis Dec 2011 #67

All that social engineering and with zero data to back it up. nt Dreamer Tatum Dec 2011 #76

What 'social engineering'? MH1 Dec 2011 #99

Sometimes, you don't have a choice, really... MADem Dec 2011 #13

yeah, pretty much! hyphenate Dec 2011 #31

1 is 1 too many.. HipChick Dec 2011 #14

+1 ... er wait... +1 doesn't sound right here slay Dec 2011 #41

As many as you can feed, clothe and love blueamy66 Dec 2011 #16

I'm disappointed that you made the edit to your post. noamnety Dec 2011 #50

sorry.....I'm allowed to have my opinion blueamy66 Dec 2011 #79

Yes, you're allowed to have your opinion noamnety Dec 2011 #85

fair enough blueamy66 Dec 2011 #86

"Is having children a right?" noamnety Dec 2011 #87

Um, why did you need WIC? blueamy66 Dec 2011 #89

Depends what you count as "afford" noamnety Dec 2011 #96

I apologize. blueamy66 Jan 2012 #102

By that reasoning, poor people should not have kids The Straight Story Dec 2011 #93

No, by that reasoning, poor people shouldn't have a BUNCH of kids blueamy66 Dec 2011 #95

No more than you can hope to successfully support n/t SoCalDem Dec 2011 #19

i had one. that was enough for me. DesertFlower Dec 2011 #20

I come from a large family, too, and the older ones are the ones who are more fucked up. Warren DeMontague Dec 2011 #22

Ironically, there may not be enough children to sustain Humankind ... T S Justly Dec 2011 #25

You should put that question to Nadya Suleman. She might know. Kablooie Dec 2011 #29

Somewhere between 5 and 20 jmowreader Dec 2011 #30

three is too many Ichingcarpenter Dec 2011 #34

0.25-0.5 boppers Dec 2011 #35

If you have too many to care about, the results should show. Judge the results, not the numbers. saras Dec 2011 #36

Any more than 2 and you're growing the world population. rucky Dec 2011 #38

With how busy the parents are nowadays treestar Dec 2011 #39

I stopped after one... Violet_Crumble Dec 2011 #40

3 would be too many because then we would need a mini van liberal N proud Dec 2011 #42

Statistics show that the more educated the mother, the fewer (yes, fewer) the children she has. fasttense Dec 2011 #43

It's also the single biggest detirminant... MedicalAdmin Dec 2011 #46

We had two and we both wish we'd had at least one more tularetom Dec 2011 #44

2 Odin2005 Dec 2011 #45

personal choice Maine-ah Dec 2011 #47

one per person ThomThom Dec 2011 #49

However many I have is perfect and everyone else is wrong. gkhouston Dec 2011 #51

Four yella_dawg Dec 2011 #52

I don't pretend to know... LanternWaste Dec 2011 #53

In my case one was enough. That said, I think it's a matter of LibDemAlways Dec 2011 #54

Good Question FiggyJay Dec 2011 #57

However many the Duggars have. Iggo Dec 2011 #58

Between 3 and 5 is ideal Eliminator Dec 2011 #59

More than you want is too many slackmaster Dec 2011 #60

Her body. Their family. Their lives. Their choice. None of my business (nt) Nye Bevan Dec 2011 #62

Agreed. HappyMe Dec 2011 #81

I always wanted 5 or 6 kids. I have only had one. Lyric Dec 2011 #64

one is too many.... mike_c Dec 2011 #66

Arrogance compels me to breed... PurityOfEssence Dec 2011 #74

My grandparents had 6 and did a good job of parenting Nikia Dec 2011 #69

Nothing in the double digits. Neoma Dec 2011 #70

For me, one is too many. I dislike children intensely. Rochester Dec 2011 #71

As most parents would put it: you haven't met mine... PurityOfEssence Dec 2011 #75

I agree... not all children are charming, not by a long shot, but some are fantastic renate Dec 2011 #77

Depends on the family -- in Mr. and Mrs. Paul's case, for instance, Rand alone is one too many fishwax Dec 2011 #72

I only have one and my biological clock is running out OhioBlue Dec 2011 #73

I was the baby of three B Calm Dec 2011 #80

Watch the Duggars or whoever they are. Vinca Dec 2011 #82

Not for us to decide. Her body - Her choice - lynne Dec 2011 #83

Thank you. Skidmore Dec 2011 #84

Having a discussion about what is 'right' or 'best' MH1 Dec 2011 #100

But on the other hand, MH1 Dec 2011 #101

It is a womans choice. Marrah_G Dec 2011 #88

Zero toddaa Dec 2011 #90

hmm, I have 3, and one step-son GobBluth Dec 2011 #94

Overpopulation is our greatest problem. Everyone's greatest problem. tabasco Dec 2011 #97