General Discussion

gtar100

(4,192 posts)

143. I'm with you, Ken Burch.

Fri Aug 25, 2017, 03:46 PM

Aug 2017

It may be easy for others to see it as no big deal for him to get a haircut (and be *taught a lesson*) but I can relate to this as one who has made the choice to conform (or was made to under threats of punishment). It doesn't sit well and has gnawed away at me my whole life.

Hope this kid finds his rightful place without others throwing up their bullshit, useless rules coming from their own biases simply because they have a problem with something that really isn't a problem.

Choosing to conform with a group over individuality should not be taken lightly and without good reason. I think there are times and places when it's appropriate to conform to a group but this is not one of them. I'm not seeing the need for him to cut his hair except to appease the narrow minds of authoritarians who require external confirmation of their own prejudices and have a difficult time dealing with the nuances of individuals.

Integrity of character should matter over conformity.

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This 4-Year-Old Boy Isnt Allowed At School Because Of His Long Hair [View all] RKP5637 Aug 2017 OP

Here is the pic BumRushDaShow Aug 2017 #1

Pull the hair into a ponytail or bun and he's fine. DetlefK Aug 2017 #29

Nope, not as per the school obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #42

This is a public school district in Texas, also. Hortensis Aug 2017 #138

So, it's another example of the "liberty means the right to be petty tyrants" thing. Ken Burch Aug 2017 #146

Look out kid, it's somethin' you did. God know when but you're doing it again. delisen Aug 2017 #161

Samson as a youngster? (n/t) Petrushka Aug 2017 #207

"Howz about Turbineguy Aug 2017 #2

Wow!!! n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #8

Excellent. fleabiscuit Aug 2017 #80

now. how in the hell do i know that dutch dude's name? must have been in pansypoo53219 Aug 2017 #139

FUCKIN A bdtrppr6 Aug 2017 #201

Dangerous Looking Individual... JimGinPA Aug 2017 #3

all the way through school for me, first grade through senior 5X Aug 2017 #4

Hahahaha Glamrock Aug 2017 #15

I've always thought of it as an authoritative thing. This school might be an indoctrination center RKP5637 Aug 2017 #16

Of course it is. Same with school uniforms. Drunken Irishman Aug 2017 #208

Fortunately, none of our schools got into the uniform bit. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #210

Well... R0ckyRac00n Aug 2017 #5

... RKP5637 Aug 2017 #9

cut his hair Demonaut Aug 2017 #6

So she should just give in and make the kid lose himself? Ken Burch Aug 2017 #111

If getting your hair cut would traumatize him that much Drahthaardogs Aug 2017 #116

At age four, being forced to conform in such a harsh way Ken Burch Aug 2017 #117

Oh nonsense. Show me a peer reviewed journal with a p value Drahthaardogs Aug 2017 #126

This is satire, right? Because a mother's taking her kid for a haircut IS NOT "HARSH." WinkyDink Aug 2017 #130

It is in some cultures Warpy Aug 2017 #176

Four-year-olds can be tender. There's a difference between respecting emerging autonomy and WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #120

You don't think claiming he would never get over having his Drahthaardogs Aug 2017 #127

I do think that how we treat children in this country is generally not the greatest, as evidenced WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #134

Why should they be forced to cut his hair? moda253 Aug 2017 #214

That's not the point I spoke to. I spoke to the drama that it Drahthaardogs Aug 2017 #219

Well, let's hope nobody tells him about Santa or the Tooth Fairy. The shock to his system! WinkyDink Aug 2017 #131

Giving children the space they need to negotiate change actually makes them more resilient and WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #136

He's 4; he isn't going to "lose himself." WinkyDink Aug 2017 #129

Why should we ever give in to petty, pointless rules like this, though? Ken Burch Aug 2017 #132

I'm with you, Ken Burch. gtar100 Aug 2017 #143

is this sarcasm because I'm never sure onymore on DU Demonaut Aug 2017 #173

girls too .......... treat every one the same Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #142

yes..comrade Demonaut Aug 2017 #174

discrimination based on sex Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #178

is it? Demonaut Aug 2017 #179

yes Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #180

Under Title IX, yes. WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #181

THANK YOU Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #185

FFS really? Why? If girls can have it why can't he? n/t USALiberal Aug 2017 #216

Parent refuses to comply with school dress code oberliner Aug 2017 #7

Same could be said of the young black women kept from school because of their hair Blue_Adept Aug 2017 #12

Agreed oberliner Aug 2017 #18

I think they are often inherently discriminatory. I have no difficulty with logical and sensible RKP5637 Aug 2017 #25

Very good points. Maybe there should be research to see if the dress codes Doodley Aug 2017 #94

Absolutely incredible! Horrific! Just another way to harasses black people. And, that was in the RKP5637 Aug 2017 #19

Not really surprising where that happened. bluepen Aug 2017 #24

Thanks for the link! RKP5637 Aug 2017 #27

Disagree. Braided hair extensions do not define black children. Doodley Aug 2017 #93

Braided hair extensions do not define black heritage or a black child. Doodley Aug 2017 #91

Or the Navajo kindergartners sent home because of long hair csziggy Aug 2017 #163

Nope, "Dress Code Gender Discrimination" obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #44

That part isn't news oberliner Aug 2017 #60

Interesting definition of news you got there. kcr Aug 2017 #64

The newsworthy nature of this story is the dispute over the student, isn't it? oberliner Aug 2017 #83

Going by this thread, I think for some people it is news. kcr Aug 2017 #115

so true Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #182

"minimize safety hazards"? oasis Aug 2017 #10

I've never understood this hair thing. Back aways it was fully acceptable for men/boys to have RKP5637 Aug 2017 #13

yup, a control thing. nt oasis Aug 2017 #23

the parent refuses to do it bdamomma Aug 2017 #11

Many parents look for ways to give kids autonomy over their own bodies. WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #21

Thank you for making that point when many side with a 4-year old being the boss Doodley Aug 2017 #92

For real! romanic Aug 2017 #177

So for sake of argument.... moda253 Aug 2017 #215

My brothers and I were in grade school '65 thru '80 TexasBushwhacker Aug 2017 #14

Exactly!!! Well said!!! To me this is often about allowing authoritative types to get their kicks. RKP5637 Aug 2017 #20

Yes. Full of authorotative types TexasBushwhacker Aug 2017 #34

I agree, but we all have to follow rules, whether we like them or not. Doodley Aug 2017 #95

It seems that's the way they want it there. I would enroll my child in a different school. He well RKP5637 Aug 2017 #100

Making hair part of the dress code is ridiculous, especially for grade-school kids. WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #17

Agree!!!!! n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #22

Absolutely ! Growing your hair out is not "getting dressed" -- it does that naturally. eppur_se_muova Aug 2017 #61

Someone please explain to me what JenniferJuniper Aug 2017 #26

I agree, no difference. This hair thing is absurd. In my youth I developed tinnitus in high school. RKP5637 Aug 2017 #30

Are we going to say schools that have a dress code should not Doodley Aug 2017 #96

We're saying a dress code for hair length seems pretty antiquated and authoritarian. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #108

We're saying a dress code should follow the law, and requiring different haircuts for boys and girls WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #114

Are you saying they should enforce it? Lordquinton Aug 2017 #144

Uh...trans and gender-fluid DUers may be here to have a word with you in a minute Ken Burch Aug 2017 #188

None obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #45

No doubt girls at that school are allowed to have hair that length. MineralMan Aug 2017 #28

Exactly!!! Pure bullshit! I get so tired of this type of crap. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #33

I agree. Besides, I think he looks cute. smirkymonkey Aug 2017 #41

Exactly. MineralMan Aug 2017 #47

True story HAB911 Aug 2017 #31

OMG! And there are probably others similar to yours that go unheard, The sheer nonsense is RKP5637 Aug 2017 #35

For sure HAB911 Aug 2017 #40

For a while, I worked at a gas station after getting out of MineralMan Aug 2017 #51

LOL! Very true. Another true story...... HAB911 Aug 2017 #57

Oh, there were always ways to strike back while in the military. MineralMan Aug 2017 #59

Oh boy HAB911 Aug 2017 #65

sounds like the commander should have been brought up on charges Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #189

No, as I remember it HAB911 Aug 2017 #211

So, the wishes of a four-year old take precedent over the school? Doodley Aug 2017 #32

Child abuse? Really? MineralMan Aug 2017 #37

Abdicating parental responsibility by letting a small child do as he wants Doodley Aug 2017 #87

Cool story, bro. WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #102

It's threads like these where DU really shows its age. Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #151

I thought the other diners applauding was a nice touch. WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #153

isn't that how it always works out? Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #155

Nothing like being in the right place at the right time! WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #158

Gotta love a happy ending Major Nikon Aug 2017 #172

Hee! WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #183

I have no problem with a kid having long hair. Doodley Aug 2017 #162

Cool story, bro! Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #149

.............. Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #190

lulz obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #48

Just like it was child abuse for girls to want to wear pants! kcr Aug 2017 #66

Please don't make excuses for a 4 year old calling the shots. Look what we have in the White House Doodley Aug 2017 #88

Long hair is the reason Trump's in office? kcr Aug 2017 #110

Most people consider it a civic duty to stand up against chickenshits Major Nikon Aug 2017 #187

We have a 2 year old in the White House Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #191

Arbitrary bullshit is bullshit. Voltaire2 Aug 2017 #77

She is teaching him to be a Democrat and the importance of not delisen Aug 2017 #133

Head lice in schools is one reason for these rules, it's hard OnDoutside Aug 2017 #36

Girls in that school have long hair, I have no doubt. MineralMan Aug 2017 #39

That, is a valid point. I remember in our school system they used to check for head lice about RKP5637 Aug 2017 #43

Except girls can have long hair, so nope obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #49

Girls magically repel lice? jberryhill Aug 2017 #54

Yes they have magic cooties. Voltaire2 Aug 2017 #78

And I thought all that stuff was just made up! jberryhill Aug 2017 #79

I had to shave my daughter's head bald in 1st grade Nevernose Aug 2017 #171

Now that is love Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #193

Lice prefer clean hair, and they do not care for kinky hair, so phylny Aug 2017 #212

Girls usually are the lice carriers because of their hair. Ilsa Aug 2017 #123

So, long haired boys get lice easier than long haired girls? Doreen Aug 2017 #202

It's pretty simple NoChildSupport Aug 2017 #38

Nope, not when the rules are illegal gender discrimination obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #50

Hasn't this been sorted out in courts? vi5 Aug 2017 #63

Schools in red states have been pushing the envelope and getting away with it for so long kcr Aug 2017 #74

Has political correctness gone so far that every boy should have an automatic right to Doodley Aug 2017 #98

They DO have that right, actually, unless the rules require neck-short hair for both boys and girls. WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #104

Why not? MrsCoffee Aug 2017 #105

And girls can wear pants Lordquinton Aug 2017 #145

yes Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #194

Dood - Hell Hath No Fury Aug 2017 #196

This message was self-deleted by its author Eliot Rosewater Aug 2017 #97

More senseless stupid gender policing Proud Liberal Dem Aug 2017 #46

I completely agree! n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #53

These things tend to sort themselves out BannonsLiver Aug 2017 #52

I've been thinking that too, and also possibly he might decide this is not a school he wants to RKP5637 Aug 2017 #55

Or he'll be a trendsetter JenniferJuniper Aug 2017 #56

But he is not allowed in class...so...?I knew a boy who was growing hair to donate to Locks of Love lunasun Aug 2017 #70

Just had a friend do that rurallib Aug 2017 #112

When I graduated high school, two students had beards DFW Aug 2017 #58

Just from a far far far outside view, I don't think this is the right school for this child. It's RKP5637 Aug 2017 #67

I can understand that DFW Aug 2017 #72

It's a private school, right? vi5 Aug 2017 #62

Yep, I agree. It seems the wrong fit for this child. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #68

Nope, this is a public school n/t kcr Aug 2017 #71

Good point. And are they fighting for their kid or just trying to Doodley Aug 2017 #99

so what if bluestarone Aug 2017 #184

Bullshit authoritarian mindset like this is why I moved to civilization kcr Aug 2017 #69

Wow! Huffington Post is still around? left-of-center2012 Aug 2017 #73

yup bdtrppr6 Aug 2017 #203

As a girl, I had to wear dresses every single day. cwydro Aug 2017 #75

This child and his family Runningdawg Aug 2017 #76

And we're in the 21st century and this nonsense goes on. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #89

I'm glad I live in CA. maveric Aug 2017 #81

I thought they had too! I can't believe all of this sh** still goes on! n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #90

The school is wrong, but here is the part I object to: ecstatic Aug 2017 #82

I'm sure the parents make plenty of decisions Blue_Adept Aug 2017 #84

That's true, but she did force her will on the child ecstatic Aug 2017 #86

You make a very important point. The kid is just a pawn. This is why I earlier Doodley Aug 2017 #101

Yes. Those are my thoughts also. nt marybourg Aug 2017 #85

What does a parent lose by allowing a child to control his own body and appearance in a way that WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #106

This. It's his hair. As a parent you expect them to keep it clean, nothing else. VermontKevin Aug 2017 #165

I disagree. His body is his to control. He should be able to choose his delisen Aug 2017 #135

He's 4 years old. A toddler practically. nt ecstatic Aug 2017 #159

Maybe a tattoo also if he wants one? n/t USALiberal Aug 2017 #217

The length of one's hair and a tattoo or scarring of the skin delisen Aug 2017 #220

What if the boy was Sikh? cagefreesoylentgreen Aug 2017 #103

Probably. It seems they are pretty determined. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #107

What's the policy for NA kids? Sikh kids? Warpy Aug 2017 #109

To me, pulling it back would be more than adequate. FFS! A lot of this country does live back in RKP5637 Aug 2017 #113

This kid is NA LeftInTX Aug 2017 #175

ridiculous Skittles Aug 2017 #118

Couple of relevant stories rurallib Aug 2017 #119

Thanks! RKP5637 Aug 2017 #121

This sounds so much like the hair wars we went through in the 60s rurallib Aug 2017 #122

Exactly, I remember those days so well. I've always had long hair. I've never really RKP5637 Aug 2017 #124

This message was self-deleted by its author Petrushka Aug 2017 #206

Not A Little Long erpowers Aug 2017 #125

So Jesus would be barred from entering. He's in good company. delisen Aug 2017 #128

This story is circulating in Native social media. Mike__M Aug 2017 #137

can't believe the shamelessly slavish capitulation to authority and arbitrary gender roles here; oh TheFrenchRazor Aug 2017 #140

This is like telling a little orthodox Jewish boy no kippah. Exultant Democracy Aug 2017 #141

School dress codes... TeeYiYi Aug 2017 #147

It's a school I would never want any of my kids near. And, I bet this antiquated authoritative RKP5637 Aug 2017 #150

Texas. Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #148

Yep, my immediate thought too! n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #152

Not saying there's a connection, but that's also the state where cops can sexually assault motorists Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #154

I was only in Texas a couple of times as a kid. I hated it there, couldn't wait to leave. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #156

I'm not gonna condemn the whole place.. Lots of great music, especially out of Austin. Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #157

Yep, definitely there are some good places. RKP5637 Aug 2017 #160

California Major Nikon Aug 2017 #192

Outside of Fresno? Sure. Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #195

Just sayin' Texas doesn't have a monopoly on the chickenshit Major Nikon Aug 2017 #199

Damn I thought this fight was over by 1970 csziggy Aug 2017 #164

Yeah, so did I! I can't believe this BS is still going on. n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #166

We're going to have to fight all the same battles over again csziggy Aug 2017 #167

It all is just damn incredible, the authoritarians! Damn, I really hate those people! n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #168

this bluestarone Aug 2017 #186

Oh, wow. I don't know whether or not to share this... LAS14 Aug 2017 #169

I thought all the crap about hair went out in the 70's. One step froward in the US, then RKP5637 Aug 2017 #170

If we let him have the long hair, before long he'll be on our lawn Warren DeMontague Aug 2017 #197

... RKP5637 Aug 2017 #198

We shut down a high school (ours) in 1970 because of this! raven mad Aug 2017 #200

FEAR OF A HAIRY PLANET bdtrppr6 Aug 2017 #204

This reminds me of something that happened in high school. Doreen Aug 2017 #205

K&R!!! n/t RKP5637 Aug 2017 #209

My son was born in 1987. My wife and I decided to not cut his hair. Joe Fields Aug 2017 #213

I'm so happy to hear this. Your son, wife and you are so lucky! I was rather stunned when I RKP5637 Aug 2017 #218