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OldHippieChick

(2,434 posts) Fri Aug 25, 2017, 05:20 PM Aug 2017

Family member just came out as transgender. [View all]

Has been taking drugs for 5 mos. Would appreciate advice on how to deal w/ his/now her parents and how not to be a jerk. He/she came out on FB which was quite shocking, but perhaps the way to go these days. He/she posted a picture wearing a dress. No surgeries yet. What is protocol? Do I call her "her" now? Help. I don't want to be an insensitive idiot.

46 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Family member just came out as transgender. [View all] OldHippieChick Aug 2017 OP

Picturing myself in your place... Croney Aug 2017 #1

Damn OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #2

Me too davekriss Aug 2017 #39

This. n/t Different Drummer Aug 2017 #44

Be supportive..... chillfactor Aug 2017 #3

Talk first to the person Maeve Aug 2017 #4

She's already chosen a new name. OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #8

Ok then changing my advice on parents to say Maeve Aug 2017 #13

She has been very brave Perhaps let her know by calling her by her new name that you affirm her lunasun Aug 2017 #14

Agree with this--calling her by her chosen name is very supportative eom Maeve Aug 2017 #19

yes you refer to her as "she" and "her" Skittles Aug 2017 #5

Do we have a trans forum? OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #9

LGBT group. irisblue Aug 2017 #27

we have lgbT forum. mopinko Aug 2017 #28

The personal note of support is by far the most important. Blue_true Aug 2017 #23

I have a trans friend wryter2000 Aug 2017 #6

Ask what the person wants. Find out what they prefer and what name they will use. procon Aug 2017 #7

I would offer congratulations! Cracklin Charlie Aug 2017 #10

I'm making this way more painful and OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #11

Oh, yeah. Cracklin Charlie Aug 2017 #32

You call her what she wants to be called. Laffy Kat Aug 2017 #12

So happy for all the good advice. I just sent OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #15

Perfect. nt Laffy Kat Aug 2017 #16

well done! chillfactor Aug 2017 #21

"she" is appropriate, and use whatever name she tells you. Spider Jerusalem Aug 2017 #17

Thank you. I obviously need to do OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #18

This is probably a good place to start Spider Jerusalem Aug 2017 #24

Just experienced this with a dear friend's child mcar Aug 2017 #20

Mother's intuition? Blue_true Aug 2017 #26

He was born female so I don't think so mcar Aug 2017 #31

No, you were perfectly clear. But the struggle young people Blue_true Aug 2017 #34

Talk to the individual and ask how they wish to be addressed tymorial Aug 2017 #22

"She," and whatever she chose as her new name obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #25

Ask. Many people who are transgender Ms. Toad Aug 2017 #29

I agree it took me a long time not to make an occasional mistake with a friend of 20 years lunasun Aug 2017 #35

How would like to be treated? Warpy Aug 2017 #30

Wise and beautiful words. chia Aug 2017 #33

Among the other good suggestions about pronouns and names... politicat Aug 2017 #36

This is so interesting as part of my confusion is OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #37

That's their business, and they have and will figure it out. politicat Aug 2017 #43

You are 100% correct and I have OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #45

Ask the person about preferences. That's the simplest thing. MineralMan Aug 2017 #38

Fortunately, others are asking these questions so we're OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #40

As long as you have a good heart and sincerely try to understand, MineralMan Aug 2017 #41

Ask them what their preferred name/pronouns are Proud Liberal Dem Aug 2017 #42

This is a good reason to do this on FB as they questions are being asked by others and she is OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #46