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Proud Liberal Dem

(24,964 posts)

42. Ask them what their preferred name/pronouns are

Reply to OldHippieChick (Original post)

Sat Aug 26, 2017, 11:51 AM

Aug 2017

and stick with it. Also, don't bombard them with questions or at least allow them to decline to answer them. Educate yourself and stick up for them especially if the family is unsupportive.

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Family member just came out as transgender. [View all] OldHippieChick Aug 2017 OP

Picturing myself in your place... Croney Aug 2017 #1

Damn OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #2

Me too davekriss Aug 2017 #39

This. n/t Different Drummer Aug 2017 #44

Be supportive..... chillfactor Aug 2017 #3

Talk first to the person Maeve Aug 2017 #4

She's already chosen a new name. OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #8

Ok then changing my advice on parents to say Maeve Aug 2017 #13

She has been very brave Perhaps let her know by calling her by her new name that you affirm her lunasun Aug 2017 #14

Agree with this--calling her by her chosen name is very supportative eom Maeve Aug 2017 #19

yes you refer to her as "she" and "her" Skittles Aug 2017 #5

Do we have a trans forum? OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #9

LGBT group. irisblue Aug 2017 #27

we have lgbT forum. mopinko Aug 2017 #28

The personal note of support is by far the most important. Blue_true Aug 2017 #23

I have a trans friend wryter2000 Aug 2017 #6

Ask what the person wants. Find out what they prefer and what name they will use. procon Aug 2017 #7

I would offer congratulations! Cracklin Charlie Aug 2017 #10

I'm making this way more painful and OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #11

Oh, yeah. Cracklin Charlie Aug 2017 #32

You call her what she wants to be called. Laffy Kat Aug 2017 #12

So happy for all the good advice. I just sent OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #15

Perfect. nt Laffy Kat Aug 2017 #16

well done! chillfactor Aug 2017 #21

"she" is appropriate, and use whatever name she tells you. Spider Jerusalem Aug 2017 #17

Thank you. I obviously need to do OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #18

This is probably a good place to start Spider Jerusalem Aug 2017 #24

Just experienced this with a dear friend's child mcar Aug 2017 #20

Mother's intuition? Blue_true Aug 2017 #26

He was born female so I don't think so mcar Aug 2017 #31

No, you were perfectly clear. But the struggle young people Blue_true Aug 2017 #34

Talk to the individual and ask how they wish to be addressed tymorial Aug 2017 #22

"She," and whatever she chose as her new name obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #25

Ask. Many people who are transgender Ms. Toad Aug 2017 #29

I agree it took me a long time not to make an occasional mistake with a friend of 20 years lunasun Aug 2017 #35

How would like to be treated? Warpy Aug 2017 #30

Wise and beautiful words. chia Aug 2017 #33

Among the other good suggestions about pronouns and names... politicat Aug 2017 #36

This is so interesting as part of my confusion is OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #37

That's their business, and they have and will figure it out. politicat Aug 2017 #43

You are 100% correct and I have OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #45

Ask the person about preferences. That's the simplest thing. MineralMan Aug 2017 #38

Fortunately, others are asking these questions so we're OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #40

As long as you have a good heart and sincerely try to understand, MineralMan Aug 2017 #41

Ask them what their preferred name/pronouns are Proud Liberal Dem Aug 2017 #42

This is a good reason to do this on FB as they questions are being asked by others and she is OldHippieChick Aug 2017 #46