The Coffin Industry Proudly Supports the Graham-Cassidy Health Care Bill [View all]

[ehrnst]

(satire...)

If Congress passes the new health care bill, there will be a boom in demand for all of these jobs, and America’s unemployment problems will be solved. The economy will become as shiny and sturdy as a new oak coffin.

Is that cheering I hear?

If you still aren’t sure what to think about the new health care plan, just picture two things: millions of new coffins, and the legislators supporting the plan. Associate those two things forever in your brain. And then try telling me that you’re still not sure where you stand.

Now, you may be asking yourself, “Why should I trust the coffin industry? What has Big Coffin ever done for me?” To that I can only point to our decades — no, centuries — of experience working with people in dire need of health care. Coffins and sick people have been connected since long before insurance companies, or doctors, or the March of Dimes, or dimes. So I’m pretty confident that we know a thing or two about how to keep Americans’ bodies healthy-looking and well preserved!

At least for a few days.

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-coffin-industry-proudly-supports-the-graham-cassidy-health-care-bill