How the superheroes & supervillains will vote this year [View all]

[Bucky]

Feel free to add to the list. Feel free to revise my guesses, too, but some explanation of your choices would help the discussion:

Lex Luthor - Total neocon billionaire. He's gotta be a Rick Perry supporter, but I think he's probably nudging Jeb Bush to get into the game. He's probably behind Newt's heated rhetoric on the Middle East, since most of Luthor's money comes from selling arms to both Israel and the Palestinians. But Newt's an expendable pawn to Luthor, and a little too megalomanical for Lexi's taste.

The Joker - The ultimate libertarian and the ultimate white supremacist--the Joker's clearly a Ron Paul supporter.

Bruce Wayne - sees a kindred spirit in Mitt Romney: wealthy, secretive, morally maleable. Batman just loves this NDAA and is fed up with Obama's constant talk about hope & unity. But Wayne's ideal candidate is Lindsey Graham. "Shut up, you don't get a lawyer" was like a love poem to Bruce. Plus isn't Lindsey Graham an orphan? Hmmm...

Clark Kent & Lois Lane - Two socially liberal elitist members of the national press. They both supported Obama three years ago, but keep pretending to be objective. Kent's downright two-faced about this. Of course Kent can't actually vote since his parents can't produce a birth certificate and, for some reason, he never applied for a driver's license. Anyway, the dude just seems duplicitous to me--I suspect he's involved with those pro-Hillary robo-calls.

Peter Parker - reluctantly pro-Obama. He's afraid of Republicans cause he fears the Patriot Act will give the police enough powers to discover his identity. Yet as the most emo of superheroes, Spiderman has a soft spot in his heart for Newt Gingrich after he started crying at all of his public appearances. He's also drawn toward professorial mentors, even though, in the end he knows he'll end up fighting Gingrich to the death. And really, isn't Gingrich the Republican candidate most likely to end up taking Mary Jane hostage on top of a bridge?

Wonder Woman - wraps herself in the flag, but then again many immigrants do this--if only to get away from the rampant xenophobia Republicans stir up. Wonder Woman would be voting straight Democrat this year. Sadly, she'll be in Sheriff Arpaio's jail on election day, although what the charges are won't be too clear. Apparently most Paradise Islanders look just Latina enough to come under suspicion for just whatever Sheriff Joe comes up with. Damn voting suppression efforts...

Tony Stark - see Lex Luthor

Aquaman - is voting Republican all the way. But that's because he's secretly in favor of global warming. Every time an iceberg melts, his oceans get a little bit bigger and human extinction gets a little bit closer. Whose powers are a joke now, assholes? Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Green Lantern - total military-industrial complex supporter. His ring get its power from the green battery, but the green battery gets its power from fossil fuels (or maybe whale oil!). He's a drill, baby, drill Republican and in all probability a Scientologist, given the fact that he hangs out with aliens, has supernatural space powers, gets by on sheer will power, and treats women like expendable accessories.

Wolverine - "Votin's for pussies"

Dr. David Banner - Voting Democrat... the real reason he's on the run is because the AMA found out he supported health care reform. When he sees average Americans suffering and going further into debt because they can't afford health insurance... well, it just... grrr... makes him... so... grrr-r-r... angreeee.... (uh oh)

Hulk - Voting Green. Puny humans say Hulk throwing away vote. Hulk like throwing things. Hulk smash voting booth next. Then Hulk smash AMA.

Professor Xavier - Made billions on Wall Street in the 90s & early 00s, but used his mental powers to get out of the market before the bubble burst. Now he's kicking millions over to the Obama reelection funds through his friend Timothy Geitner. He was miffed at Obama for a little while, but is happy now that the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" allows mutants to serve openly in the military. After all, who do you think took out Osama?