General Discussion

Ilsa

(64,424 posts)

31. The counselors with her probably see this a lot.

Mon Oct 23, 2017, 04:59 PM

Oct 2017

Her reaction is typical for the denial stage.

Look, if I see my dr and she has advice for me to help keep me healthy, even mentally healthy, I would probably take it. I simply don't think there is some ulterior reason for professionals telling her she shouldn't view the body other than it might not be recognizable or there may not be enough of it for her to see it and know it is him. It may not look anything like him, but is him, and that prolongs her lack of acceptance of his death.

The last Vietnam era funeral I attended was five years after the war ended, and nine years after the man died. His remains were not accessible for that long. Sometimes you accept that "these are his bones" and accept that he's been brought home for burial.

I don't trust plenty of people in charge in DC. But I don't believe all of the people involved in this are in on supporting some bizarre conspiracy to not deliver the body.

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Folks, there are very good reasons why a body isn't shown to loved ones. [View all] Ilsa Oct 2017 OP

I agree. JanetLovesObama Oct 2017 #1

Once the bacteria from Ilsa Oct 2017 #2

Perhaps when he was found, but certainly not put in the casket that way. panader0 Oct 2017 #19

A naive question PJMcK Oct 2017 #40

They have everybodys DNA on file. James48 Oct 2017 #50

Yes. Good info. Hortensis Oct 2017 #60

Thanks PJMcK Oct 2017 #61

No- not exactly. James48 Oct 2017 #71

They also have all Reservists' DNA on file as well. TheDebbieDee Oct 2017 #93

My brother has his on file xmas74 Oct 2017 #99

Emmett Till....Even my own cousin... HipChick Oct 2017 #3

" the govt. is covering up something..." Maybe, maybe not. Orrex Oct 2017 #6

Sorry, but this is getting to conspiracy theory territory GulfCoast66 Oct 2017 #78

I'm not into conspiracy theories - Ms. Toad Oct 2017 #95

Not to mention flies. cwydro Oct 2017 #106

WTF is this misguided "compassion" bullshit? We don't get to prohibit a wife or mother or father anneboleyn Oct 2017 #145

A head wound is reason enough to not view a body. stopbush Oct 2017 #4

Then tell her that Corgigal Oct 2017 #5

I'm wondering if they have Ilsa Oct 2017 #11

Don't know Corgigal Oct 2017 #17

Stop with the patronizing posts about this widow. She is a strong woman. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #22

I have no doubt she is a strong woman. Ilsa Oct 2017 #25

No one is saying it's not traumatizing. But not knowing is even worse. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #26

And maybe they can convince her with other Ilsa Oct 2017 #27

Please stop insulting this widow. She is not in "denial." SunSeeker Oct 2017 #29

She absolutely has the right to see it. Ilsa Oct 2017 #41

Link to the Pentagon telling her she could see it? That's news to me. nt SunSeeker Oct 2017 #48

She has every right to get as much information Corgigal Oct 2017 #42

oh man heaven05 Oct 2017 #120

Do you get a thrill from describing the ugly details of torture, gore, and decomposition? Do you WinkyDink Oct 2017 #43

I've smelled dead bodies and it's horrid but two things: elehhhhna Oct 2017 #66

The things you learn. How about breathing through used coffee grounds? Hortensis Oct 2017 #133

Never tried it but it might work I don't even think they need to be used elehhhhna Oct 2017 #134

Read it somewhere, but I'll be happy to always be able Hortensis Oct 2017 #138

OFGS---STOP WITH THE DISGUSTING "HELPFUL INFO." And while you're at it, stop fantasizing. Oh, wait. WinkyDink Oct 2017 #87

+1 uponit7771 Oct 2017 #38

I've seen combat deaths sarisataka Oct 2017 #7

I agree with you Maeve Oct 2017 #8

Very true. GoCubsGo Oct 2017 #9

If the widow wanted to see his body no matter what, who are we to say she shouldn't? coolsandy Oct 2017 #10

We aren't. But professional grief counselors usually have Ilsa Oct 2017 #12

Yes you are. You are implying there is a legitimate "reason" she was denied her right. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #18

You may be right. She could have been dangerously traumatized. sarge43 Oct 2017 #47

You make the wrong assumption. James48 Oct 2017 #52

I'm well aware what high explosives can do. sarge43 Oct 2017 #65

Didn't he put his own locator on? Wasn't he alive?? I think he was captured, possibly tortured adigal Oct 2017 #68

That word is used for bodies. cwydro Oct 2017 #107

OK, but what about her other question? Fritz Walter Oct 2017 #13

It's a separate question that needs to be answered. Ilsa Oct 2017 #15

Because you don't declare someone dead... Baconator Oct 2017 #112

I suspect that the people who Turbineguy Oct 2017 #14

That is horribly patronizing to the widow. And no justification for denying her viewing. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #16

I agree with you. yallerdawg Oct 2017 #21

They probably can't deny an autopsy, which likely would be easier on Ilsa Oct 2017 #23

Why do you give the Pentagon the benefit of the doubt but not her? SunSeeker Oct 2017 #24

The counselors with her probably see this a lot. Ilsa Oct 2017 #31

ENOUGH! Let her see the body already. You are not doing her any favors. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #49

I don't have power over the body, and I'm not keeping her from seeing Ilsa Oct 2017 #57

Your OP suggests the military is right in keeping her from the body. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #63

No, you are reading that into it. Ilsa Oct 2017 #74

They're not "recommending" she not view the body. They're DENYING her viewing. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #79

Where does it say that in black and white? Baconator Oct 2017 #104

MYESHIA JOHNSON SAID, "THEY WOULDN'T LET ME" : SunSeeker Oct 2017 #108

I'm asking who stopped her? Baconator Oct 2017 #109

You calling her a liar? nt SunSeeker Oct 2017 #110

I'm saying it's logically impossible... Baconator Oct 2017 #111

So you give the military the benefit of the doubt but not Myeshia? SunSeeker Oct 2017 #113

You seem desperate to make the facts fit your agenda... Baconator Oct 2017 #114

You seem desperate to not believe Myeshia. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #115

She is still the 'owner' of the remains... Baconator Oct 2017 #116

Yes, she is the legal owner of his remains, but the military told her she couldn't see him. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #118

You can cut all the 'don't be disrespecting our brave troops wishes' on me Missy... Baconator Oct 2017 #121

What's with your condescending, sexist "Missy" reference? You don't even know what my gender is. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #123

Wow, I read that response to you. cwydro Oct 2017 #124

Yup. nt SunSeeker Oct 2017 #125

That shit will take decades more to die out and with trump, centuries. Eliot Rosewater Oct 2017 #129

We're saying the same thing... Baconator Oct 2017 #131

No we weren't, I was not spewing sexism. You were. And no, she was DENIED viewing. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #132

This message was self-deleted by its author Baconator Oct 2017 #135

No, she couldn't. I don't agree with your point, nor the sexist way you made it. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #139

Nothing's been "exposed"... Baconator Oct 2017 #140

Yes it was exposed, by Myeshia, who exposed being told she couldn't see her husband's remains. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #141

Make sure you don't get any of that straw stuck in your hair... Baconator Oct 2017 #142

Don't worry about my hair. You're the one arguing with a straw man. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #143

Exactly. Amimnoch Oct 2017 #46

There is a saying, once you see or know something, you can never un-see it or un-know it Hestia Oct 2017 #62

To confirm that it is La David. nt SunSeeker Oct 2017 #64

Amen JustAnotherGen Oct 2017 #144

They could have rainin Oct 2017 #20

Yes mainstreetonce Oct 2017 #28

That's it. defacto7 Oct 2017 #35

His wife and his parents hould have been allowed to see his body, regardless of the condition... iluvtennis Oct 2017 #30

If the widow and family had been shown some respect, sensitivity, and honesty... Hekate Oct 2017 #32

ITA. nt Ilsa Oct 2017 #55

There are things you can't un-see easttexaslefty Oct 2017 #33

Just adding this theory: it was said the body did not go through Ramstein Base Wwcd Oct 2017 #34

According to? Baconator Oct 2017 #105

Her choice MaryMagdaline Oct 2017 #36

No matter how we asses someone elses grief... defacto7 Oct 2017 #37

This isn't about the gruesomeness we can ALL imagine. It's about a widow's RIGHT. WinkyDink Oct 2017 #39

Someone is dropping the ball. madaboutharry Oct 2017 #44

Thank you. I suspect the same. nt Ilsa Oct 2017 #45

This woman deserves the facts at least. HopeAgain Oct 2017 #51

She is being lied to ...something is amiss HipChick Oct 2017 #53

Why do we think they won't tell her? He was left alone, alive, yes? His locator went off adigal Oct 2017 #69

I would want verification MFM008 Oct 2017 #54

The bottom line? SCVDem Oct 2017 #56

She doesn't have to view it herself. But get some medical examiner or someone like that to do it JI7 Oct 2017 #58

I do not agree MyNameGoesHere Oct 2017 #59

Thank you . . . here's more Sam McGee Oct 2017 #67

I'm so sorry you had to endure that. Ilsa Oct 2017 #76

PTSD nvme Oct 2017 #70

I don't disagree. Ilsa Oct 2017 #75

Yes, exactly... nt Raine Oct 2017 #72

how divided are we?? For Christ sake it's her choice and bluestarone Oct 2017 #73

If they would let the public see the body, it would certainly dispel the romanticism of war Not Ruth Oct 2017 #77

My heart goes to the widow and family, viewing the body after the possibility of 48 hours after Thinkingabout Oct 2017 #80

MISSING THE POINT. WinkyDink Oct 2017 #85

My neighbor died on a Tuesday morning. She had a massive heart attack kimbutgar Oct 2017 #81

Sorry you had to go throught that... HipChick Oct 2017 #82

BUT !!!!!! flying-skeleton Oct 2017 #83

I hate the word "folks." WinkyDink Oct 2017 #84

Then I'm not the only one. kcr Oct 2017 #98

folks isn't that bad. Lots of folks use it. Now, the word twine is really annoying snooper2 Oct 2017 #122

If he was left behind and murdered ...we need to know... I would demand to see the body period. Demsrule86 Oct 2017 #86

I've concluded that the thread is simply to describe revolting details about bodily injuries and de- WinkyDink Oct 2017 #88

Not your call to make, or the government, not in a million years Eliot Rosewater Oct 2017 #89

This. sheshe2 Oct 2017 #91

this bluestarone Oct 2017 #96

Exactly. This "oh the poor weak woman needs to be protected" makes me sick. HER RIGHT. HER SPOUSE. anneboleyn Oct 2017 #146

I have people in my life that could give a look see and get back to me. I would not have to Mediumsizedhand Oct 2017 #90

Are you a mortician? greatauntoftriplets Oct 2017 #92

It should be up to the family, and no that would not be a still_one Oct 2017 #94

I am sure That the Master Sgt. that accompanied Sgt. Johnson home... Historic NY Oct 2017 #97

It is her right as a surviving spouse to see his body. Tatiana Oct 2017 #100

I think its wrong to deny her the right to see her husband's body. tulipsandroses Oct 2017 #101

True... Snackshack Oct 2017 #102

This post is patronizing. She is an adult; she is not a child. You are projecting your ideas and anneboleyn Oct 2017 #103

Has anyone mercuryblues Oct 2017 #117

really???? heaven05 Oct 2017 #119

Just to be clear, the widow does not believe that her husbands remains were what she buried? Not Ruth Oct 2017 #126

Myeshia said she does not know if there is anything in that box, because they wouldn't let her see. SunSeeker Oct 2017 #128

if she wants to see him... she is an adult and it's her husband lapfog_1 Oct 2017 #127

Rude Tree-Hugger Oct 2017 #130

It's not a conspiracy theory lillypaddle Oct 2017 #136

Irrelevant to a next-of-kin who wants to see the body anyway. Orsino Oct 2017 #137