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longship

(40,416 posts)

75. Nonsense! Give out full sized candy bars!!!

Sun Oct 29, 2017, 11:15 AM

Oct 2017

Like Mounds or Almond Joy. Three Musketeers and Milky Way are also very good. (Forget Baby Ruth -- just my personal opinion). Snickers, too, are premium. And indeed, dark chocolate would be much appreciated.

But fucking baby carrots would likely end up being flung back, deservedly so. And apples are universally discarded because of the fictional razor blade scares, but more properly due to the idiot spoil sports who think apples are a good idea on Halloween. They apparently don't understand that their apples will be universally thrown away.

Now those Three Musketeers bars... will be consumed with relish. That, in the spirit of the day.

Here, kid. Have some 🥕! Hey guy, have your justly deserved trick, you fucking sanctimonious spoil sport!

That's why it's called trick or treat. However, the choice is yours.

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Can I give healthy treats for Halloween like apples or baby carrots? [View all] Le Gaucher Oct 2017 OP

No. n/t demmiblue Oct 2017 #1

No they will get thrown away due to risk of poison, pins and razor blades Not Ruth Oct 2017 #2

Only if you want your house egged. AngryAmish Oct 2017 #3

I bought non candy treats. SouthernIrish Oct 2017 #33

I just give away razor blades and firecrackers. AngryAmish Oct 2017 #35

I hope they are the 'fun' size. n/t ryan_cats Oct 2017 #39

Bwahahahaha! (I'm stealing that!) WinkyDink Oct 2017 #46

Yes, the INTERNATIONAL response of kids to Halloween Veg ! OnDoutside Oct 2017 #136

Only if you want to be hated by the kids Maeve Oct 2017 #4

No.. But there are some cocoa-roasted individually bagged almonds that I mix in with hlthe2b Oct 2017 #5

I dont know about getting egged, but it is insensitive and for sure Not Ruth Oct 2017 #6

Why are Lindt truffles "tone deaf'? whathehell Oct 2017 #10

Lindt truffles are adult candy, the type of thing that Trump might give Not Ruth Oct 2017 #18

I know what you're saying whathehell Oct 2017 #37

Some parents might think you're trying to hurt their kids dalton99a Oct 2017 #7

Everything should be individually wrapped and sealed The Blue Flower Oct 2017 #8

Small packages of cookies or crackers or chips, maybe? Mariana Oct 2017 #9

"Candy is horrible"? whathehell Oct 2017 #11

Pass out hard candies(only one apiece) Alpeduez21 Oct 2017 #12

Small individual pack. Yes Le Gaucher Oct 2017 #49

I don't give out hard candy due to possible choking on it. A smaller child can shraby Oct 2017 #81

I think the poster was being sarcastic. N/T EllieBC Oct 2017 #84

Thought I'd better say something in case they weren't. shraby Oct 2017 #105

I completely understand. EllieBC Oct 2017 #137

Why don't you give them a non-food treat? GoCubsGo Oct 2017 #13

Party City is a good place for those too TexasBushwhacker Oct 2017 #36

I give out dollar bills, If I get 10-15 families out here thats alot. Seems to work for me........ Old Vet Oct 2017 #67

This message was self-deleted by its author eShirl Oct 2017 #14

If you don't want to play the game, don't play at all brooklynite Oct 2017 #15

I LOL'd KG Oct 2017 #16

LOL Just turn out the lights & pretend you're not home, Demit Oct 2017 #17

+1 smirkymonkey Oct 2017 #62

You'd be better off handing out paper leaflets about the evils of Halloween candy GreenEyedLefty Oct 2017 #19

We considered Chick tracts to be prime loot. Mariana Oct 2017 #87

Individual packs of fruit treats, many are made from real fruit. AJT Oct 2017 #20

I second the fruit snacks recommendation MountCleaners Oct 2017 #143

why not just give out rolls of toilet paper and save them the time juxtaposed Oct 2017 #21

Stand on the porch and throw paper towels! WinkyDink Oct 2017 #47

LMAO!!!! sellitman Oct 2017 #53

Now there's an idea! smirkymonkey Oct 2017 #63

Poor kids LOL ! syringis Oct 2017 #94

I know! LOL! smirkymonkey Oct 2017 #99

It is what I think too syringis Oct 2017 #112

I suspect that may just be a theme this year. Hortensis Oct 2017 #71

You win with that reply!! MiniMe Oct 2017 #96

Bwaahahahahaa, have I mentioned how I hate, hate halloween? Love your idea. n/t monmouth4 Oct 2017 #110

LOL DemocratSinceBirth Oct 2017 #59

Just buy some fun-sized candy bars and be done with it. Codeine Oct 2017 #22

Give out five dollar bills. milestogo Oct 2017 #23

But the kids really loved the sugar cubes stamped with a skull & crossbones that we gave in the 60s Not Ruth Oct 2017 #32

.. Kittycow Oct 2017 #116

As long as mercuryblues Oct 2017 #24

You might want to pass out peanuts--literally meow2u3 Oct 2017 #25

Peanuts are murder for a lot of kids Not Ruth Oct 2017 #30

No! No nuts! Madam Mossfern Oct 2017 #31

Any parent of a child allergic to peanuts or "tree" nuts should be going with them, IMO hlthe2b Oct 2017 #40

PEANUTS?! Include an Epi-pen, too! WinkyDink Oct 2017 #48

Responsible parents will take care of that NotASurfer Oct 2017 #97

Lighten up, Frances! The whole thread is for laughs! WinkyDink Oct 2017 #102

Need to recalibrate my sarcasmimificationometer NotASurfer Oct 2017 #106

Then I'll help you out: MOST of the time I'm a Weisenheimer. You will definitely know when I'm not, WinkyDink Oct 2017 #145

just touching peanuts can kill some kids...no peanuts. Demsrule86 Oct 2017 #118

NO cyclonefence Oct 2017 #26

Kids look forward to trick or treating, all year. Why spoil this this one night, for them? Siwsan Oct 2017 #27

Go right ahead. We'll be handing out full-size candy bars MineralMan Oct 2017 #28

Just leave your porch light off as a signal that you Bettie Oct 2017 #29

Small bag of Halloween size pretzels or popcorn . Avoid the palm oil *save an orangutan lunasun Oct 2017 #34

I remember a guy who gave out FULL SIZED boxes of candies and chocolate covered cherries hlthe2b Oct 2017 #38

I found some things that kids seem to really get excited about eleny Oct 2017 #41

Yes... if you want your residence 'egged' left-of-center2012 Oct 2017 #42

if you own a power washer and have readily cleanable siding to handle the egg residue, go for it. Takket Oct 2017 #43

I'll take "Trick" for $20, Alex Mr. Ected Oct 2017 #44

Just turn your lights off until it's over. Easy-peasy! WinkyDink Oct 2017 #45

The kids will just throw them away. nt Irish_Dem Oct 2017 #50

If the kids don't, the parents will MiniMe Oct 2017 #100

Yes I would not let my child eat anything homemade or not wrapped. nt Irish_Dem Oct 2017 #101

It's not about what YOU like. It's a holiday for kids, The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2017 #51

Only if you want MFM008 Oct 2017 #52

C. Burned Not Ruth Oct 2017 #61

Lol MFM008 Oct 2017 #68

Not unless you know the kids janterry Oct 2017 #54

Good idea.thanks Le Gaucher Oct 2017 #55

Juice is pretty much sugar water that has some vitamin C. Mariana Oct 2017 #90

AS a child, any house that gave raisins was egged crazycatlady Oct 2017 #129

They will assume that you have bodies buried in your basement Orrex Oct 2017 #56

No. Just no. Squinch Oct 2017 #57

There's always gotta be one. VermontKevin Oct 2017 #58

This is an epic thread. DemocratSinceBirth Oct 2017 #60

It's a welcome distraction today :D Blue_Adept Oct 2017 #132

How about individual, store bought, bags of popcorn? Vinca Oct 2017 #64

Why not give out pocket sized bibles and Jehova's Witness literature? ProudLib72 Oct 2017 #65

A lady in our neighborhood handed out toothbrushes one year. B2G Oct 2017 #66

Money. I used to save my change all year, then put it into a tall glass vase Demit Oct 2017 #69

You actually let them walk thru your lawn? GulfCoast66 Oct 2017 #70

No. Instead, dress as a serial killer and jump out of the bushes with a bloody knife when kids go to Oneironaut Oct 2017 #72

Why do you hate children like this? AgadorSparticus Oct 2017 #73

It's a way to get rid of your opioids! WinkyDink Oct 2017 #74

Someone's gonna be offended by this. grossproffit Oct 2017 #77

Hope springs eternal! WinkyDink Oct 2017 #103

Nonsense! Give out full sized candy bars!!! longship Oct 2017 #75

Blasphemy! grossproffit Oct 2017 #76

only if you want your house egged..... samnsara Oct 2017 #78

Overheard convo in the store ColoradoBlue Oct 2017 #79

It is a once a year treat for the kids. Let it be. If you cannot have fun with this, Mediumsizedhand Oct 2017 #80

No, b/c treats not commercially wrapped are usually suspected of having razor blades or poison. nt tblue37 Oct 2017 #82

It isn't about what YOU would hate to eat. Offer commercial, wrapped candy to the KIDS. pnwmom Oct 2017 #83

Stop being ridiculous. EllieBC Oct 2017 #85

Only if you like cleaning egg off your front window... tritsofme Oct 2017 #86

Give stickers, temp tattoos, pencils mrs_p Oct 2017 #88

Carrot sticks and apples will be tossed in any case. Mariana Oct 2017 #92

Do you have a power washer? krispos42 Oct 2017 #89

hahah...we used to throw eggs and shaving cream around...the entire town trees were covered with Demsrule86 Oct 2017 #119

Halloween cat is judging you ColoradoBlue Oct 2017 #91

Dole Salad Fun packs MichMan Oct 2017 #93

My new favorite oxymoron! WinkyDink Oct 2017 #104

gross and more gross.. give the kids candy one time a year. Demsrule86 Oct 2017 #120

annies fruit snacks Mosby Oct 2017 #95

Anything made by the Mainway Toy Company should be good. Stinky The Clown Oct 2017 #98

I hand out SAS envelopes and say, "Send me all the green paper in your Daddy's pockets." WinkyDink Oct 2017 #107

Does it work? Demsrule86 Oct 2017 #121

It's not about what you like BainsBane Oct 2017 #108

Is this a picture of you taken last Halloween? Kaleva Oct 2017 #109

If you are going to give out carrots and apples bathroommonkey76 Oct 2017 #111

We're giving out little bags of Pirate's Booty. yewberry Oct 2017 #113

There is no law that says you can't. Doesn't mean you should. LisaL Oct 2017 #114

Little boxes of raisins elleng Oct 2017 #115

Chocolate covered at least! Demsrule86 Oct 2017 #122

Little boxes of dried despair. VermontKevin Oct 2017 #123

Like a raisin in the sun. WinkyDink Oct 2017 #127

! Kali Oct 2017 #146

No. crazycatlady Oct 2017 #130

Peanut butter cups don't have corn syrup...and come on it is halloween...won't hurt the younguns. Demsrule86 Oct 2017 #117

Not unless you want a side of eggs on your car crazycatlady Oct 2017 #124

I give out loose cigarettes. n/t LuckyCharms Oct 2017 #125

Hmmm....I'm giving the side-eye to your avatar. ;-) WinkyDink Oct 2017 #128

Good luck with that, RandySF Oct 2017 #126

Your guide to Halloween Candy marylandblue Oct 2017 #131

Sure. Do you have brick, alluminum, vinyl or cedar siding? lindysalsagal Oct 2017 #133

Brick ranch.. The windows are unfortunately still glass Le Gaucher Oct 2017 #138

Might be tough scrubbing the carrots out of the grout..... lindysalsagal Oct 2017 #140

Cloves of garlic are healthy too tavernier Oct 2017 #134

I found it! The perfect compromise, a TRUE non-pareil: WinkyDink Oct 2017 #135

I...have...had...that...nightmare... NotASurfer Oct 2017 #144

Turnips. That's what you should give. hunter Oct 2017 #139

OMG!!!! diva77 Oct 2017 #141

fuck no Skittles Oct 2017 #142

gotta rec this thread Kali Oct 2017 #147

Same here; GallopingGhost Oct 2017 #149

No, no, no. GallopingGhost Oct 2017 #148

Costco rotisserie chickens as treats Not Ruth Oct 2017 #150

Pumpkin spice Lindt truffles only 13 cents each, you have to buy 550 of them Not Ruth Oct 2017 #151

The candy isn't for you... ileus Oct 2017 #152

Hint: Avoid miniature bottles of Chivas Regal or Crown Royal. Buns_of_Fire Oct 2017 #153