Please remember that we all deal with tragic news differently [View all]

[nadine_mn]

Yet another mass shooting has ripped out our hearts today. 25 lives lost at the hands of some deeply disturbed individual and entire families are now dealing with this horrific loss.

Reading posts today I am struck by how we each deal with tragedy differently...there is no right or wrong way to process what is happening everyday across this country.

Some people cry and weep for lives lost and loved ones impacted.

Some fear increased gun violence is just becoming a way of life.

Some are angry: at the NRA, at the shooter, at politicians, at the media

Some take a route of dark humor and cynicism, with a touch of sarcasm because if we think about it too much...it is overwhelming.

I am in that latter category. The first thing I said to my husband was "oh the shooter is white - clearly a lone wolf with mental health issues...if he were brown then it would be terrorism". My husband knows that I say that with heavy sarcasm, that I grieve for the families and the loss of life. He also knows that I am angered by the hypocrisy of how shootings are handled depending on the skin color of the shooter...as if that makes a difference to those mourning their loved ones.

He knows that if I watch one more interview of family member at a loss for words trying to describe their grief to a media obsessed with ratings, only to later be attacked by right wingers or accused of lying that I will start crying and never stop. Because I can't allow myself to feel pain anymore...it's too much for me. So my options are anger or dark humor. These are the walls I put up because I have to in order to cope with senseless tragedy.

So I will pick different things to rage at or find humor in and some may find me insensitive.

But make no mistake

I am not making light of the loss of life. The ripple effect of today's shooting and every death by gun violence isn't just for who lost a loved one ... it tears at the thread that connects of all of us.

Because 16 other people died JUST TODAY as a result of guns...and we won't hear their stories.

Because JUST THIS YEAR there have been over 300 mass shootings

Because JUST THIS YEAR there have been over 50,000 incidents of gun violence with over 13,000 dead and over 26,000 injured.

And the same tired and trite responses will be said. The same thoughts and prayers, the same "now is not the time to talk about gun control", the same boost in gun sales as the right fans the fears that guns will be taken away, the same hand wringing over "no one could predict this would happen". And then the news will move on. And just today 42 families are planning funerals and more will be planning tomorrow and the next day and the next...as a result of gun violence.

And we won't hear about the need for gun control until the next mass shooting - except now the bar has been raised. Because there were 307 mass shootings this year, but the news didn't cover them all. No, it has to be bigger numbers, more children, more victims, more shock value...and soon it will never be enough.

I can't cry anymore. I can't be outraged anymore. It's not because I don't care - because I do, more than words can say. So I will hide behind sarcasm because that is all I have left.