General Discussion

orleans

(36,978 posts)

76. sinkingfeeling mentioned the

Tue Nov 21, 2017, 02:38 AM

Nov 2017

sexual revolution.
ah youth.
it seems like so many people are splitting hairs over this crap nowadays.
and all this little shit only serves to minimize and distract from the important things--the times when it *was* horribly wrong or inappropriate etc.

remember a few years back when college students were having meltdowns because they weren't "comfortable" discussing certain topics in their classes? omg!

years ago i used to do "that's what my date said" and that line always made people laugh.

times have changed.

no one should have to suffer the slings and arrows of sexual harassment or harassment in any form. but a "that's what she said" is hardly sexual harassment.

so, in answer to your question--i would say NO, it would not be considered a serious form of abuse. and no, neither of your workmates would be justified in making a complaint over your stupid joke years later.

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Thats what she said joke at work, sexual Harrasment?? [View all] brettdale Nov 2017 OP

What did your female colleague think? MineralMan Nov 2017 #1

she cracked up laughing brettdale Nov 2017 #2

I didn't ask what she did. MineralMan Nov 2017 #94

I don't know anymore. I stopped working 2 years ago, but was hired sinkingfeeling Nov 2017 #3

I was in many situations at the corporate level where there was playing around/joking, but none RKP5637 Nov 2017 #60

Is it really that hard to not make any sexual comments or innuendos for 8 hours out of Squinch Nov 2017 #4

It was a spur of the moment comment brettdale Nov 2017 #5

They always are. And now you're mad that I answered your question truthfully. SMH. Squinch Nov 2017 #6

Not mad at all brettdale Nov 2017 #20

Why are you asking the question you are asking in the OP? Do you want an answer or Squinch Nov 2017 #30

Nope my mind is not set brettdale Nov 2017 #38

No one is being brought to court for a comment made 30 years ago, and your colleague Squinch Nov 2017 #50

Dont live in the USA brettdale Nov 2017 #57

How will people be "caught up" for minor complaints, given that the law says what the law says? Squinch Nov 2017 #59

Their careers will be ruined brettdale Nov 2017 #64

I don't see anybody's careers being ruined for saying something minor 30 years ago. yardwork Nov 2017 #92

Sorry, but this is bullshit. No one's career is being ruined because of something minor Squinch Nov 2017 #117

Post removed Post removed Nov 2017 #63

If somebody feels uncomfortable with that joke, then TBH, that person needs to lighten up. Doodley Nov 2017 #79

It really is getting to the point of ridiculousness isn't it. 7962 Nov 2017 #89

Your persecution and oppression are noted... LanternWaste Nov 2017 #93

Agree infidel621 Nov 2017 #113

See the response above yours for a perfect example. 7962 Nov 2017 #128

In your opinion. I don't necessarily disagree with you, but your opinion or mine is not Squinch Nov 2017 #118

I agree. delisen Nov 2017 #37

I think I probably would have thought it was funny, but it kind of depends on your smirkymonkey Nov 2017 #105

You arent saying that it is not safeinOhio Nov 2017 #8

I'm saying don't make sexual comments at work. And here comes the whatabout avalanch. Squinch Nov 2017 #10

Right now you cant discuss safeinOhio Nov 2017 #11

WTF?? People with social skills and vocabularies are fully able to discuss all those topics without Squinch Nov 2017 #12

WTF? safeinOhio Nov 2017 #15

You are not joking, are you? unc70 Nov 2017 #22

Did DU become my workplace when I wasn't looking? Squinch Nov 2017 #31

There's no way in hell I would be in your work place. Jim Beard Nov 2017 #48

Imagine my disappointment. Squinch Nov 2017 #51

Petard Hoisting as Olympic sport: OilemFirchen Nov 2017 #26

Is DU your workplace? If so, then I apologize. Squinch Nov 2017 #33

Yes. OilemFirchen Nov 2017 #45

There is no reason to ban all humorous banter, including a bit of playful innuendo. Doodley Nov 2017 #78

Really? No. "Playful Innuendo?" I think not. MineralMan Nov 2017 #104

Some people in the workplace just need to lighten up and get over themselves. A team needs Doodley Nov 2017 #107

I see. So sexual banter helps the "team?" MineralMan Nov 2017 #109

It's called humor. I am not going to fire three people in my office from having a consensual Doodley Nov 2017 #110

I don't have employees. I am my own boss. MineralMan Nov 2017 #111

I agree. I wouldn't tolerate that either. I won't tolerate that kind of disrespect, but Doodley Nov 2017 #114

I agree with you. yardwork Nov 2017 #91

Exactly. Work should be safe and professional. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #102

It is my understanding that it's not sexual harassment until you're asked to stop ecstatic Nov 2017 #7

Thank you. safeinOhio Nov 2017 #9

I wouldn't say that mythology Nov 2017 #24

OK, but everyone has their own personal definition of what makes him/her ecstatic Nov 2017 #47

Boy, that advice could get you in a LOT of trouble RandomAccess Nov 2017 #49

On edit: If you don't stand up for yourself, who will? ecstatic Nov 2017 #56

Ah, the voice of privilege RandomAccess Nov 2017 #61

I get what you're saying. You have a right to prayin4rain Nov 2017 #65

You're barking up the wrong post RandomAccess Nov 2017 #66

Oh, yeah, I agree with your post 52. nt prayin4rain Nov 2017 #67

Umm, that's Ms. And what I said is true: If you say nothing, the person will ecstatic Nov 2017 #71

That's absurdly wrong. yardwork Nov 2017 #87

In The Office, Michael Scott was under investigation for repeated lewd comments. Initech Nov 2017 #13

You are better off not making jokes with female colleagues at work. woolldog Nov 2017 #14

Better yet, lock yourselves in closets because, apparently, it is absolutely impossible Squinch Nov 2017 #16

Huh? woolldog Nov 2017 #17

You and Pence have the same social rules. Mother would approve. Squinch Nov 2017 #18

why? woolldog Nov 2017 #25

Or you could not make sexual jokes at work. mythology Nov 2017 #27

that is an option... woolldog Nov 2017 #29

His "joke" was inappropriate for the setting. Blue_true Nov 2017 #32

Exactly. woolldog Nov 2017 #34

or maybe just making clean ones... whathehell Nov 2017 #35

sometimes, jokes like those in the OP woolldog Nov 2017 #42

for example: trc Nov 2017 #62

... woolldog Nov 2017 #125

I only make dirty jokes around people I know are ok with it. phleshdef Nov 2017 #19

Seems like that is just common sense, but this thread is teaching me that Squinch Nov 2017 #21

This thread has been an eye opener for sure. cwydro Nov 2017 #95

It's kind of funny. I was in an office job during the 80's and 90's when women just Squinch Nov 2017 #121

Been there. Experienced that too. cwydro Nov 2017 #122

That's my take too. Squinch Nov 2017 #123

It is no longer anything that happens frequently. cwydro Nov 2017 #127

Oh let's not paint women as fragile flowers here. nolabear Nov 2017 #23

They''re not, but is it really so hard to keep the jokes clean while at work? whathehell Nov 2017 #36

That was really tame though. I can certainly see not being grotesque or insulting nolabear Nov 2017 #39

Do you mean the joke whathehell Nov 2017 #44

Yes, that joke. nolabear Nov 2017 #53

Gotcha whathehell Nov 2017 #129

Avoiding sexual jokes at work is not fanaticism. WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2017 #40

Does that particular joke deserve reporting to HR or the boss then? nolabear Nov 2017 #43

Depends on several things: the sexual harassment policy at the company, the people who hear it, WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2017 #55

Yeah, I pretty much agree RandomAccess Nov 2017 #52

I understand what you are saying but it isn't worth it tymorial Nov 2017 #68

Boy do I wish men and women could discuss this openly. nolabear Nov 2017 #97

I do understand what you are saying tymorial Nov 2017 #101

You could always ask if they need any help TexasBushwhacker Dec 2017 #130

I have been in a work environment True Dough Nov 2017 #77

Its because you were not perceived as prey. nolabear Nov 2017 #98

Well said, and too much PC is used as a weapon by the right. Doodley Nov 2017 #80

Have you never had any sexual harassment training at work? oberliner Nov 2017 #28

That was my thought... sweetloukillbot Nov 2017 #69

Childish, annoying, and harassment. milestogo Nov 2017 #41

It really depends on the person... Xolodno Nov 2017 #46

I would say it depends on the relationship with those employees nini Nov 2017 #54

Depends on the sexual harassment policy at the company, the people who hear it, company culture, WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2017 #58

What about women that make sexual jokes and inuendos. Then when doc03 Nov 2017 #70

Good point. It does go both ways, especially with women bosses. Doodley Nov 2017 #83

But seriously.... teenagebambam Nov 2017 #72

Yes, it only takes one to complain. We are moving into the Hyper-PC Age. Doodley Nov 2017 #82

I am not really sure I get it but seems it treestar Nov 2017 #73

OH LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR brettdale Nov 2017 #86

Well see, that post your responding to is a perfect example of why woolldog Nov 2017 #126

We're all thinking about situations at work Dem2 Nov 2017 #74

how often do you make those kind of "jokes?" i worked at a place where there were a lot of TheFrenchRazor Nov 2017 #75

OMG! Very disrespectful of them. Doodley Nov 2017 #81

sinkingfeeling mentioned the orleans Nov 2017 #76

Think of it as a Democratic issue. ucrdem Nov 2017 #84

there is a difference between occasional risque humor and PREDATORY behavior Skittles Nov 2017 #85

It's best not to make sexual jokes at work. yardwork Nov 2017 #88

It may be Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #90

THIS!!!! Squinch Nov 2017 #119

A "serious form of abuse"? No - but if it makes someone uncomfortable - it is harassment. jmg257 Nov 2017 #96

The honest answer is that it all depends. To some it isn't to some, it is. Caliman73 Nov 2017 #99

As a male, I've used this phrase before, but never so a woman could hear, and... LuckyCharms Nov 2017 #100

The idea of labeling "discomfort" as evidence of... LAS14 Nov 2017 #103

It's exceedingly difficult for a subordinate to tell someone to "fuck off." MineralMan Nov 2017 #106

Right. I would include threat to one's career as an actionable.... LAS14 Nov 2017 #108

Discomfort is NOT evidence of actionable harassment. The law specifically says that harassment Squinch Nov 2017 #120

I probably would have laughed out loud. Thats hilarious. Oneironaut Nov 2017 #112

Michael Scott isn't a manager or person people should emulate in the workplace. tammywammy Nov 2017 #124

Usually to meet the definition of harassment, it has to be a continuing thing gollygee Nov 2017 #115

Jokes are usually at *someones* expense, so I just avoid humor to be safe and not hurt feelings. Bonx Nov 2017 #116