General Discussion

Lee-Lee

(6,324 posts)

90. It may be

Tue Nov 21, 2017, 07:26 AM

Nov 2017

It all depends on the environment, how your coworkers take it, and other factors.

If it makes anyone uncomfortable and creates a hostile work environment then yes, it is.

One thing to keep in mind is you don’t know your workers sexual history, beliefs or anything else. If you had a coworker that was devoutly religious who found any such comment from a member of her opposite sex (or same sex) offense if would be. What if your coworker was Muslim and any mention of sex from someone not a spouse was offense to them? And keep in mind you don’t know your coworkers history. They could be a survivor or sexual abuse or sexual trauma for who a simple comment like that could cause lots of discomfort or worse.

Don’t see everything through the lens of your life and what you feel to determine what “appropriate” is.

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Thats what she said joke at work, sexual Harrasment?? [View all] brettdale Nov 2017 OP

What did your female colleague think? MineralMan Nov 2017 #1

she cracked up laughing brettdale Nov 2017 #2

I didn't ask what she did. MineralMan Nov 2017 #94

I don't know anymore. I stopped working 2 years ago, but was hired sinkingfeeling Nov 2017 #3

I was in many situations at the corporate level where there was playing around/joking, but none RKP5637 Nov 2017 #60

Is it really that hard to not make any sexual comments or innuendos for 8 hours out of Squinch Nov 2017 #4

It was a spur of the moment comment brettdale Nov 2017 #5

They always are. And now you're mad that I answered your question truthfully. SMH. Squinch Nov 2017 #6

Not mad at all brettdale Nov 2017 #20

Why are you asking the question you are asking in the OP? Do you want an answer or Squinch Nov 2017 #30

Nope my mind is not set brettdale Nov 2017 #38

No one is being brought to court for a comment made 30 years ago, and your colleague Squinch Nov 2017 #50

Dont live in the USA brettdale Nov 2017 #57

How will people be "caught up" for minor complaints, given that the law says what the law says? Squinch Nov 2017 #59

Their careers will be ruined brettdale Nov 2017 #64

I don't see anybody's careers being ruined for saying something minor 30 years ago. yardwork Nov 2017 #92

Sorry, but this is bullshit. No one's career is being ruined because of something minor Squinch Nov 2017 #117

Post removed Post removed Nov 2017 #63

If somebody feels uncomfortable with that joke, then TBH, that person needs to lighten up. Doodley Nov 2017 #79

It really is getting to the point of ridiculousness isn't it. 7962 Nov 2017 #89

Your persecution and oppression are noted... LanternWaste Nov 2017 #93

Agree infidel621 Nov 2017 #113

See the response above yours for a perfect example. 7962 Nov 2017 #128

In your opinion. I don't necessarily disagree with you, but your opinion or mine is not Squinch Nov 2017 #118

I agree. delisen Nov 2017 #37

I think I probably would have thought it was funny, but it kind of depends on your smirkymonkey Nov 2017 #105

You arent saying that it is not safeinOhio Nov 2017 #8

I'm saying don't make sexual comments at work. And here comes the whatabout avalanch. Squinch Nov 2017 #10

Right now you cant discuss safeinOhio Nov 2017 #11

WTF?? People with social skills and vocabularies are fully able to discuss all those topics without Squinch Nov 2017 #12

WTF? safeinOhio Nov 2017 #15

You are not joking, are you? unc70 Nov 2017 #22

Did DU become my workplace when I wasn't looking? Squinch Nov 2017 #31

There's no way in hell I would be in your work place. Jim Beard Nov 2017 #48

Imagine my disappointment. Squinch Nov 2017 #51

Petard Hoisting as Olympic sport: OilemFirchen Nov 2017 #26

Is DU your workplace? If so, then I apologize. Squinch Nov 2017 #33

Yes. OilemFirchen Nov 2017 #45

There is no reason to ban all humorous banter, including a bit of playful innuendo. Doodley Nov 2017 #78

Really? No. "Playful Innuendo?" I think not. MineralMan Nov 2017 #104

Some people in the workplace just need to lighten up and get over themselves. A team needs Doodley Nov 2017 #107

I see. So sexual banter helps the "team?" MineralMan Nov 2017 #109

It's called humor. I am not going to fire three people in my office from having a consensual Doodley Nov 2017 #110

I don't have employees. I am my own boss. MineralMan Nov 2017 #111

I agree. I wouldn't tolerate that either. I won't tolerate that kind of disrespect, but Doodley Nov 2017 #114

I agree with you. yardwork Nov 2017 #91

Exactly. Work should be safe and professional. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #102

It is my understanding that it's not sexual harassment until you're asked to stop ecstatic Nov 2017 #7

Thank you. safeinOhio Nov 2017 #9

I wouldn't say that mythology Nov 2017 #24

OK, but everyone has their own personal definition of what makes him/her ecstatic Nov 2017 #47

Boy, that advice could get you in a LOT of trouble RandomAccess Nov 2017 #49

On edit: If you don't stand up for yourself, who will? ecstatic Nov 2017 #56

Ah, the voice of privilege RandomAccess Nov 2017 #61

I get what you're saying. You have a right to prayin4rain Nov 2017 #65

You're barking up the wrong post RandomAccess Nov 2017 #66

Oh, yeah, I agree with your post 52. nt prayin4rain Nov 2017 #67

Umm, that's Ms. And what I said is true: If you say nothing, the person will ecstatic Nov 2017 #71

That's absurdly wrong. yardwork Nov 2017 #87

In The Office, Michael Scott was under investigation for repeated lewd comments. Initech Nov 2017 #13

You are better off not making jokes with female colleagues at work. woolldog Nov 2017 #14

Better yet, lock yourselves in closets because, apparently, it is absolutely impossible Squinch Nov 2017 #16

Huh? woolldog Nov 2017 #17

You and Pence have the same social rules. Mother would approve. Squinch Nov 2017 #18

why? woolldog Nov 2017 #25

Or you could not make sexual jokes at work. mythology Nov 2017 #27

that is an option... woolldog Nov 2017 #29

His "joke" was inappropriate for the setting. Blue_true Nov 2017 #32

Exactly. woolldog Nov 2017 #34

or maybe just making clean ones... whathehell Nov 2017 #35

sometimes, jokes like those in the OP woolldog Nov 2017 #42

for example: trc Nov 2017 #62

... woolldog Nov 2017 #125

I only make dirty jokes around people I know are ok with it. phleshdef Nov 2017 #19

Seems like that is just common sense, but this thread is teaching me that Squinch Nov 2017 #21

This thread has been an eye opener for sure. cwydro Nov 2017 #95

It's kind of funny. I was in an office job during the 80's and 90's when women just Squinch Nov 2017 #121

Been there. Experienced that too. cwydro Nov 2017 #122

That's my take too. Squinch Nov 2017 #123

It is no longer anything that happens frequently. cwydro Nov 2017 #127

Oh let's not paint women as fragile flowers here. nolabear Nov 2017 #23

They''re not, but is it really so hard to keep the jokes clean while at work? whathehell Nov 2017 #36

That was really tame though. I can certainly see not being grotesque or insulting nolabear Nov 2017 #39

Do you mean the joke whathehell Nov 2017 #44

Yes, that joke. nolabear Nov 2017 #53

Gotcha whathehell Nov 2017 #129

Avoiding sexual jokes at work is not fanaticism. WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2017 #40

Does that particular joke deserve reporting to HR or the boss then? nolabear Nov 2017 #43

Depends on several things: the sexual harassment policy at the company, the people who hear it, WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2017 #55

Yeah, I pretty much agree RandomAccess Nov 2017 #52

I understand what you are saying but it isn't worth it tymorial Nov 2017 #68

Boy do I wish men and women could discuss this openly. nolabear Nov 2017 #97

I do understand what you are saying tymorial Nov 2017 #101

You could always ask if they need any help TexasBushwhacker Dec 2017 #130

I have been in a work environment True Dough Nov 2017 #77

Its because you were not perceived as prey. nolabear Nov 2017 #98

Well said, and too much PC is used as a weapon by the right. Doodley Nov 2017 #80

Have you never had any sexual harassment training at work? oberliner Nov 2017 #28

That was my thought... sweetloukillbot Nov 2017 #69

Childish, annoying, and harassment. milestogo Nov 2017 #41

It really depends on the person... Xolodno Nov 2017 #46

I would say it depends on the relationship with those employees nini Nov 2017 #54

Depends on the sexual harassment policy at the company, the people who hear it, company culture, WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2017 #58

What about women that make sexual jokes and inuendos. Then when doc03 Nov 2017 #70

Good point. It does go both ways, especially with women bosses. Doodley Nov 2017 #83

But seriously.... teenagebambam Nov 2017 #72

Yes, it only takes one to complain. We are moving into the Hyper-PC Age. Doodley Nov 2017 #82

I am not really sure I get it but seems it treestar Nov 2017 #73

OH LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR brettdale Nov 2017 #86

Well see, that post your responding to is a perfect example of why woolldog Nov 2017 #126

We're all thinking about situations at work Dem2 Nov 2017 #74

how often do you make those kind of "jokes?" i worked at a place where there were a lot of TheFrenchRazor Nov 2017 #75

OMG! Very disrespectful of them. Doodley Nov 2017 #81

sinkingfeeling mentioned the orleans Nov 2017 #76

Think of it as a Democratic issue. ucrdem Nov 2017 #84

there is a difference between occasional risque humor and PREDATORY behavior Skittles Nov 2017 #85

It's best not to make sexual jokes at work. yardwork Nov 2017 #88

It may be Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #90

THIS!!!! Squinch Nov 2017 #119

A "serious form of abuse"? No - but if it makes someone uncomfortable - it is harassment. jmg257 Nov 2017 #96

The honest answer is that it all depends. To some it isn't to some, it is. Caliman73 Nov 2017 #99

As a male, I've used this phrase before, but never so a woman could hear, and... LuckyCharms Nov 2017 #100

The idea of labeling "discomfort" as evidence of... LAS14 Nov 2017 #103

It's exceedingly difficult for a subordinate to tell someone to "fuck off." MineralMan Nov 2017 #106

Right. I would include threat to one's career as an actionable.... LAS14 Nov 2017 #108

Discomfort is NOT evidence of actionable harassment. The law specifically says that harassment Squinch Nov 2017 #120

I probably would have laughed out loud. Thats hilarious. Oneironaut Nov 2017 #112

Michael Scott isn't a manager or person people should emulate in the workplace. tammywammy Nov 2017 #124

Usually to meet the definition of harassment, it has to be a continuing thing gollygee Nov 2017 #115

Jokes are usually at *someones* expense, so I just avoid humor to be safe and not hurt feelings. Bonx Nov 2017 #116