Thats what she said joke at work, sexual Harrasment??

[tymorial]

101. I do understand what you are saying

It is true that one's previous actions and experiences can cause a relapse of trauma which result in perhaps an "out of scale reaction." I believe that to be a very apt description of what can occur. Those out of scale reactions however can have consequences which can be devastating. A single accusation can ruin a person entirely. This isn't victim blaming or shaming what so ever. I have some patients who have experienced sexual abuse in their past and I was assaulted when I was 22.

Still, it isn't scapegoating to protect oneself from being placed into a situation that can lead to misunderstanding and horrible consequence. I used to teach voice lessons and piano lessons after I graduated from college. In voice lessons I would discuss the physicality of breath control, putting hand on stomach to understand support. We would go through breathing exercises. In piano lessons I would sit next to my students during the lesson and demonstrate. I would help them use their hands in the proper position and discuss posture. It was great money and I had a ton of fun. I remember leaving one of those positions and a young girl of 8 years old was devastated that I was leaving. In her last lesson, she gave me a drawing she made and gave me a hug. Her mom had this look of sadness because her daughter was upset. It was such a touching moment that I will cherish. Today I would never allow such close contact even with the mother present. I had two teenage girls that I taught voice together a couple of years later. They weren't taking the class seriously and they weren't practicing so I told them that they needed to take the lessons more seriously. That it was irresponsible of me to take their parents money when they were using the time to socialize and party. They went back to their mother and said "I was mean to them." They complained to the school and my classes were observed for the next month. The mother came to see me the next class and asked what happened. I told her of the situation and the daughter's fessed up. The mother apologized profusely and the girls did as well. Things were fine after that, this was 12 years ago.

I will never teach music again even though I loved it. Too. Much. Risk.

Yes, some behaviors are unacceptable and some men need to learn some professionalism and self reflection. That isn't the whole story. I do believe the women and men who have come forward naming those who have accused them. I do believe that there is an obligation to believe someone when they state they have been abused. The problem is though, if someone is actually innocent, they will never BE innocent again. That too is a problem.