She Doesnt Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays

[MineralMan]

25. Here's the deal. Men should not initiate hugs with women unless there is

an established hugging relationship. In the case I described, the last time I saw the twins, they were 10 years old. They were eager huggers at the time, but I still waited for them to initiate hugs. At 15, that was even more important, I think. Teenagers have all sorts of different ideas about things than adults might expect. At their age, they're likely to be the recipients of unwanted attention from men, besides.

So, I shook their hands. Then, later, they came up and offered hugs, which I gladly accepted.

Women are not generally threatening to men, frankly. The converse is not true. So, I leave it to women to initiate hugs. I'm good either way. As I said, I get lots of hugs, regardless, but I do not initiate hugs with women who are not my wife or mother. I simply do not.

In my extended family and a group of close friends, along with my wife's family and friends, there are also women who are smoochers. I don't mind. My wife doesn't mind, But I would never initiate a kiss, either.

Men can be threatening to some women. I've not found women to be threatening to me, ever. So, I let them take the initiative when it comes to such displays of affection. That works for me.