By Zack Parsons - Mar 02, 2015
The Case of Boris Nemtsov
Supreme Detective Putin arrives on horseback at the morgue. Gets down from horse and flips over lid of box holding remains of opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. He takes off his sunglasses and pokes and prods his finger into the Swiss cheese holes in Nemtsov's back.
"This is very weak blood. Homosexual blood. And these bullet? Forensic say only made in Ukraine," declares Putin. "They use very weak bullet. Is fatal because of very weak spine. See this? Is spine p___y. Shot in spine p___y by Ukrop bullets to make martyr. CIA maybe. Okay? No trial. It is very sad the CIA continues murdering opposition to me in plot to make me look bad."
He signs an 8x10 head shot of himself scowling at a tiger, hands it to the coroner, gets on his horse, and rides out.
Oh, it goes downhill from there, but still sorta funny, definitely something awful:
http://www.somethingawful.com/news/detective-putin-nemtsov/
Go to link to see what it says Putin's other investigations found:
The Case of Warehouse Massacre
It was the Chechens and the CIA at work again...
The Case of Break In at Opposition Headquarters
Putin determines it is the fault of the USA, Britain, gays, due to 'pedophile sex pictures and a USA flag wallpaper,' on a computer, and the CIA. And all of the opposition party went for the policeman guns.
The Case of Oligarch Killed in Office
Hacked to death with a machete, shot by two different guns, but ruled a suicide because he was a 'secret homosexual and pedophile.' Also, CIA!
Last but not least:
The Case of Sexy Model Dancers Found Dead in Hotel
Women died from forcing Putin to have sex with them until they died. Normal because of Putin's huge, very heterosexual penis. Also, CIA sent these Nazi girls to kill him.
Readers will decide which of these stories, if any, are true. Are these deaths just a coincidence, and how many would say that, at the same time they claim no coincidence at WTC7, Sandy Hook, Aurora, etc.?
The mind simply boggles.
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