Romney camp plans three-day donor retreat around New York debate

[DreamGypsy]

8. The Victory Fall Retreat of the House of Romney... by E.A. Poe

...As Romney predicted, America soon dies. At least we think so. All we know is that Mitt tells the narrator she’s dead, and that she appears to be dead when he looks at her. Of course, because of her catalepsy, she might just look like she’s dead, post-seizure. Keep that in mind. At Mitt ’s request, the narrator helps him to entomb her body in one of the vaults underneath the mansion. While they do so, the narrator discovers that the two of them were twins and that they shared some sort of supernatural, probably extrasensory, bond.

About a week later, on a dark and stormy night, the narrator and Romney find themselves unable to sleep. They decide to pass away the scary night by reading a book. As the narrator reads the text aloud, all the sounds from the fictional story can be heard resounding from below the mansion. It doesn’t take long for Romney to freak out; he jumps up and declares that they buried America alive and that now she is coming back. Sure enough, the doors blow open and there stands a trembling, bloody America. She throws herself at Romney, who falls to the floor and, after "violent" agony, dies along with his sister. The narrator flees; outside he watches the House of Romney crack in two and sink into the dark, dank pool that lies before it.

Pretty cool, huh? And it'll only cost you a $1 million.