Is There a Gene for Motherhood?

[Tigress DEM]

54. (((LV))) That's awfully rough. Hope the rest of your family was really good to you.

My personal experience with any mother who has problems being a mother to her children is that it's usually:

A) Her own upbringing was a bad scene
B) She has some mental health issues that aren't dealt with
C) She becomes a "Mom" because that is what everyone expects of her
D) Any combo or all of the above

Maybe there is a genetic component as well, but from how you describe your Mom she sounds like she simply was never comfortable in her own skin and couldn't really relate to anyone else without having a solid clue about her own self.

I believe that people love in the highest capacity that they are able, but it often comes out wrong. As confused as she was, as much as she hurt you, maybe it would have been worse if she'd been there day to day.

My Mom was "there" in my life, but couldn't even say, "I love you" unless we said it first. Nothing we did was ever good enough. I do know the reasons for her being that way - she lived for decades with untreated depression. I also worked through my stuff and discovered that her staying married to my Dad even though she hated him a lot was because he WAS able to say he loved us and was able to be a good Dad. She wanted that FOR us, from our Dad. So in her own damaged way, she made sure we knew we were loved even though she couldn't express it herself.

I wonder, though, if she'd just left him/us and/or gotten the help she needed, would we have all been better off?