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In reply to the discussion: Police Foiled An Ohio Incel's Plot To Kill Women In A Mass Shooting, Prosecutors Say [View all]Jedi Guy
(3,186 posts)It's entirely possible for there to be a wild disparity in attractiveness between people in a relationship. As an example, Christina Hendricks (who is drop dead gorgeous, IMO) was married to Geoffrey Arend for 10 years. You may recall Mr. Arend as the stoner kid from the beginning of Super Troopers who licks the window of the cop car and declares, "The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!" Judged purely on looks, she is way out of his league. He's a goofy-looking guy.
That's what these incel guys don't get. Personality, wit, a good attitude, and a sense of humor can often bridge the gulf to someone who's out of their league. Yes, going through life when you're butt-ugly is much harder than if you're a chiseled Adonis. But going through life butt-ugly, bitter, angry, and hateful isn't going to make it better. They either don't know or don't believe that there's more to romance than looks.
I'm not a bad-looking guy (at least, I don't think I am). I'm overweight, but I'm not fugly. When my wife and I met 13 years ago, she was a lingerie model as a part-time gig. No one is ever gonna ask me to model underwear, yet she and I wound up together. Why? Because I didn't act like an asshole. I treated her with kindness and respect, and she enjoyed my personality and sense of humor.
TL;DR: If incels could stop being assholes for five minutes, they might discover that their chances of romance improve.