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In reply to the discussion: Father will be reunited with baby adopted without his knowledge, judge rules [View all]davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)The implication that I am seeing here (perhaps inaccurately) is that the Father should first be proven NOT to be abusive. Is that how you see it? As guilty until proven innocent?
Statistically speaking, yes, there are many terrible, abusive men who should not be raising children period. In cases where they have been proven to be such, in cases where there is credible evidence that they may be such, then I would say that every cautionary measure should be taken. However, based on the story at hand... there is no apparent evidence from what we have seen to indicate that the man is anything but a Father who wants to raise his child - who the Mother did give up for adoption without his knowledge or consent.
Speaking as a young man with a Father I think the world of... I cannot imagine what my life might have been like without him, had things been different. I was fortunate enough to be raised by two great parents who may have been tempted to give me up for adoption at various times... but never did.
The fact that numerous men are abusive and that it can be difficult to escape from such men does not indicate to me that we should always assume that is the case, or even likely to be the case. You may accurately quote statistics, but they do not pertain to this case until there is evidence of abuse. There has not even been a claim of it, so far as we know from the story.
Lacking evidence to the contrary, I believe this man has been terribly wronged by the legal system and by the Mother of the child as well as by the adopting couple.