Weather Service Assures North Dakotans There Is 'No Threat' of Tsunami in Landlocked State

[Torchlight]

31. And The Onion wept.

We're not taking any chances, said one resident, stocking up on sandbags and pool noodles. "You can't trust that ocean. It’s sneaky..."

Sources report the same group has also petitioned to ban wind turbines due to concerns about 'windmill cancer clusters' citing a Facebook post and a gut feeling. Experts remain baffled. It’s like geography, physics, and common sense all called in sick" said one scientist, who asked to remain anonymous to avoid being targeted by the Flat Earth Tsunami Response Team.




(for Statler's sake: the above is made up stuff, kay?)