Latest Breaking News

Tommy_Carcetti

(44,561 posts)

50. For years, I had trouble forgiving a guy who had bullied me in school.

Thu Feb 21, 2013, 12:42 PM

Feb 2013

For no apparent reason. I still don't know why I was his target.

And then one day I read via the internet that his son (roughly the same age as my daughter) died in a drowning accident.

And I ceased being angry at him. I didn't once think it was karma or divine retribution for what he had done to me--no God or supernatural force could ever be that cruel; I just felt bad for him. And I knew that whatever pain he inflicted on me by bulling me in school was nothing compared to the pain he must be going through by the loss of a young child.

And that was that. Haven't dwelled much on him ever since.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

78 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Effects of Bullying Last Into Adulthood, Study Finds [View all] Redfairen Feb 2013 OP

"and bullies themselves" KamaAina Feb 2013 #1

I didn't know that about Dumbya. That is awful. It is even more awful that someone like that could raccoon Feb 2013 #29

I think one commentator did call him burnsei sensei Feb 2013 #70

We saw that first hand on a national stage with Cha Feb 2013 #2

Horrific consequences even when qualified as they do below....amazing. K&R Jefferson23 Feb 2013 #3

those of us who lived it know it shapes who you become. Overcoming the effects BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #65

This message was self-deleted by its author rhett o rick Feb 2013 #4

It ought to be easy for non-bullies to stick up for victims too. DaveJ Feb 2013 #7

Sorry, that's not bullying. caseymoz Feb 2013 #11

I have a pretty broad definition of bullying. CBHagman Feb 2013 #17

Maybe not as broad as other peoples'. caseymoz Feb 2013 #19

Yes subjectivity enters into the equation. Welcome to life. rhett o rick Feb 2013 #24

You just bullied me! caseymoz Feb 2013 #27

Yes, I agree that my comment was rude and I apologize. rhett o rick Feb 2013 #30

Wow. We agree! caseymoz Feb 2013 #46

When one poster singles out another poster and calls them names rhett o rick Feb 2013 #22

Yeah, but the difference is . . . caseymoz Feb 2013 #25

The trouble with the ignore button... Scootaloo Feb 2013 #26

Which is why you don't have to keep it on forever. caseymoz Feb 2013 #28

Really RobinA Feb 2013 #31

Thanks. caseymoz Feb 2013 #45

Every action people don't like is now "Bullying" alcibiades_mystery Feb 2013 #33

I agree that this is a strict definition of bullying, but I think it's legitimate. DaveJ Feb 2013 #36

Sorry, you don't get to impose your definition on the world magical thyme Feb 2013 #37

Sorry, you don't get to either. caseymoz Feb 2013 #39

I don't understand why you are standing up against the misuse of the term 'bully'. DaveJ Feb 2013 #44

K & R. I'll never accept "Come on, we were just kids" or "Move on". Sorry. HughBeaumont Feb 2013 #5

Yeah, and "Time heals all wounds." like hell it does. nt uriel1972 Feb 2013 #6

uriel1972 Diclotican Feb 2013 #9

Heh, I've never been invited to a reunion... uriel1972 Feb 2013 #42

uriel1972 Diclotican Feb 2013 #47

You Can Contact Your High School For Reunion Details---If You Ever Want To. Paladin Feb 2013 #59

Yeah. A few of mine have, more than a few haven't. Posteritatis Feb 2013 #10

The article said ten years? caseymoz Feb 2013 #20

No it doesn't. Joe Bacon Feb 2013 #58

I dread high school for my daughters although I know they probably (hopefully) won't Jennicut Feb 2013 #41

Redfairen Diclotican Feb 2013 #8

As somebody who experienced bullying and it's effects... elzenmahn Feb 2013 #12

I think our entire status ladder is determined by bullying. caseymoz Feb 2013 #15

that's the 2nd time you've claimed a definition of bullying magical thyme Feb 2013 #38

You need an authority figure to think with? caseymoz Feb 2013 #43

no, I do not "need an authority figure to think with" magical thyme Feb 2013 #49

If I cited an authority . . . caseymoz Feb 2013 #61

you of course always have the option of putting me on ignore magical thyme Feb 2013 #63

Another thing I wanted to add magical thyme Feb 2013 #52

Bully is the word we use when "asshole" isn't appropriate. MindPilot Feb 2013 #60

When cyberbullying is becoming a crime caseymoz Feb 2013 #62

I would expand the definition a bit further than that... elzenmahn Feb 2013 #74

In those cases it depends upon . . . caseymoz Feb 2013 #76

Yep, Bullying is Not Something RobinA Feb 2013 #32

elzenmahn Diclotican Feb 2013 #48

I know exactly of what you speak... elzenmahn Feb 2013 #75

elzenmahn Diclotican Feb 2013 #77

I was bullied also. burnsei sensei Feb 2013 #71

burnsei sensei Diclotican Feb 2013 #72

You know, I could have predicted all the findings here. caseymoz Feb 2013 #13

Candidate for this year's "You Call This NEWS?" Award rocktivity Feb 2013 #14

The surprise isn't in the headline. caseymoz Feb 2013 #16

Yup. Another Release From The Painfully Obvious Facts Bureau. (nt) Paladin Feb 2013 #35

I thought this was well known already. subterranean Feb 2013 #18

you know, back when I was in the prepubescent/early pubescent age group when bullying is probably Douglas Carpenter Feb 2013 #21

As a Elementary Kid RobinA Feb 2013 #34

Know all about that. Joe Bacon Feb 2013 #54

And you never really recover from bullying by family members nobodyspecial Feb 2013 #51

that's so true shanti Feb 2013 #53

That is also true Joe Bacon Feb 2013 #55

Amen to that. nt raccoon Feb 2013 #73

I would only say and say from experience that one does not want to over dose on stewing about the Douglas Carpenter Feb 2013 #57

maybe now it will get better... neversaydie Apr 2013 #78

Fucking DUH. Science discovers water is wet.... :( Fire Walk With Me Feb 2013 #23

Even with animals a stressful 'childhood' effects them the rest of their lives. Sunlei Feb 2013 #40

For years, I had trouble forgiving a guy who had bullied me in school. Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2013 #50

Wish I could say the same. Joe Bacon Feb 2013 #56

Neither can I nightscanner59 Feb 2013 #66

For Many Years RobinA Feb 2013 #67

Absolutely LiberalEsto Feb 2013 #64

I left school in 9th grade, lied about my age, and passed my GED at 15, just to get away The Flaming Red Head Feb 2013 #68

I'm sure glad this is starting to be dealt with treestar Feb 2013 #69