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Patiod

(11,816 posts)

131. "You can't know what is in another person's heart"

Sun Apr 7, 2013, 11:19 AM

Apr 2013

One of my sorority sisters had what people used to call a nervous breakdown, but she was clearly struggling with depression as one component (anxiety being the other). When the pain got to be too much, she killed herself.

It wasn't her parents' beliefs or politics, it was her own pain.

At the funeral, the rabbi told the congregation, and particularly her parents, "You can never know what is in another person's heart. Only God knows that, and we're not God."

She got along great with her parents, who had gotten her help and counseling, and supported her decisions, whether it was to go back to school or take a semester off. But no one knew how to get her back from the dark and scary place she was in.

Condolences to the Warren family and all their son's friends.

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Saddleback Church Says Rick Warren�s Son Has Committed Suicide [View all] Leslie Valley Apr 2013 OP

Devestating. ZombieHorde Apr 2013 #1

This message was self-deleted by its author OldRedneck Apr 2013 #2

Completely uncalled-for comment Hekate Apr 2013 #4

+1. Faygo Kid Apr 2013 #5

I agree with Hekate. No Vested Interest Apr 2013 #7

There is no question that pain is pain. And... CincyDem Apr 2013 #8

It has happened much too often... FarPoint Apr 2013 #39

Good lord, man. mac56 Apr 2013 #6

+1 iandhr Apr 2013 #77

Nail on Head! honeyward Apr 2013 #10

You joined up just to make this ignorant comment? DURHAM D Apr 2013 #11

+2 Faygo Kid Apr 2013 #13

No likely about it. SpartanDem Apr 2013 #24

If this is their first post on this board, they have nothing useful to contribute. Salviati Apr 2013 #54

Me too - shame on me eom elfin Apr 2013 #15

It's likely we ALL thought it. Ken Burch Apr 2013 #27

Yep. n/t RKP5637 Apr 2013 #30

Please have some respect. Or go elsewhere. nolabear Apr 2013 #32

Respect is earned - Goodbye, I am now going somewhere else. Don't agree with you, so I should firenewt Apr 2013 #37

Not directed at you. At the one poster. nolabear Apr 2013 #56

Oh he'll, and I was just about to post this... awoke_in_2003 Apr 2013 #64

Disrespect is earned. Respect is the default position. LanternWaste Apr 2013 #196

Welcome to DU, honeyward! calimary Apr 2013 #41

^^^THIS^^^ Melinda Apr 2013 #55

That's pretty darn likely, whether or not people like to hear it. n/t Ian David Apr 2013 #14

Why don't you wait to find out the facts Faygo Kid Apr 2013 #18

It is natural to wonder dsc Apr 2013 #20

That's pretty darn likely, AlbertCat Apr 2013 #46

"He may have realized that his father's god doesn't exist." Divine Discontent Apr 2013 #88

you have no shame. AlbertCat Apr 2013 #92

You're the one who used the suicide of a man with lifelong depression to take a potshot at religion. Divine Discontent Apr 2013 #95

And you're being judgemental about it BuddhaGirl Apr 2013 #138

Warren Sr is the one without shame amuse bouche Apr 2013 #117

Objectively false ButterflyBlood Apr 2013 #135

No amuse bouche Apr 2013 #143

Then if "you don't know," keep your opinions to yourself. AngryOldDem Apr 2013 #21

As unkind as it may be, that was my first thought as well. truebluegreen Apr 2013 #23

Or he was depressed as was said - and that can happen gay or straight; karynnj Apr 2013 #28

Welcome to DU, OldRedneck! calimary Apr 2013 #34

There are myriad reasons someone might commit suicide... CBHagman Apr 2013 #48

Hopefully the wisdom of not speaking every thought in one's head dixiegrrrrl Apr 2013 #36

That was my first thought as well, OldRedneck....... TheDebbieDee Apr 2013 #43

How heartbreaking for his family Hekate Apr 2013 #3

My heart goes out to Pastor Rick and his family qanda Apr 2013 #9

Condolences to the family and friends ChazII Apr 2013 #12

Brutal BeyondGeography Apr 2013 #16

Sad. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #17

"he struggled from birth with mental illness" - wonder what it was? nt bananas Apr 2013 #35

Apparently severe depression. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #67

Sounds like the depression was a result of something else. bananas Apr 2013 #83

Whatever it was, having a gun in the house made it fatal. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #102

Did it really have to go there? Socal31 Apr 2013 #155

If we don't learn from a tragedy it compounds the tragedy. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #157

This message was self-deleted by its author bananas Apr 2013 #81

Clinical Depression; greiner3 Apr 2013 #130

Yes, so what do they mean by "mental illness resulting in deep depression" bananas Apr 2013 #146

R.I.P. n/t Tx4obama Apr 2013 #19

Unfortunately many parents do not recognize their kids depression or problems. That is why if it is still_one Apr 2013 #22

It has to be difficult being the son of HATE. nt valerief Apr 2013 #25

Apparently it's much easier being the daughter of spite. n/t Nuclear Unicorn Apr 2013 #44

I don't think Rick Warren hates people. musical_soul Apr 2013 #109

Yes -- he very gently encourages Uganda's "kill the gays" law n/t markpkessinger Apr 2013 #125

Absolutely amuse bouche Apr 2013 #116

prayer didn't help? RussBLib Apr 2013 #26

Oh, how terrible. My heart goes out to that family. Poor child. nolabear Apr 2013 #29

As much as I disagree with Rev. Warren's beliefs, no parent should have to bury a child. n/t alp227 Apr 2013 #31

Matthew's pain has ended. sheshe2 Apr 2013 #33

Oh sheshe2, I am so sorry. Yes, may Matthew and your brother rest in peace. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #149

Thank you SunSeeker. sheshe2 Apr 2013 #150

Perhaps his father will learn from this and become a less hate-filled human being Marrah_G Apr 2013 #38

As I recall amuse bouche Apr 2013 #47

yes he did Marrah_G Apr 2013 #49

Me too amuse bouche Apr 2013 #51

Ah yes! I wasn't going to say anything in response to this story, closeupready Apr 2013 #59

I'm no fan of Rick Warren BuddhaGirl Apr 2013 #137

I can understand that Marrah_G Apr 2013 #141

So very sad. mzmolly Apr 2013 #40

RIP, Matthew. nt City Lights Apr 2013 #42

My condolences to the Warren family OmahaBlueDog Apr 2013 #45

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #50

Speaking as an atheist it proves to me that money isn't everything. Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #61

Welcome to DU. Very sad story. It's not that proof though. Festivito Apr 2013 #69

I'm no fan of Rick Warren, but I feel sorry for him right now. DinahMoeHum Apr 2013 #52

The lack of compassion of some of these posts iandhr Apr 2013 #53

Particularly those who signed up just to post uncalled-for nonsense arcane1 Apr 2013 #57

thought I was Niceguy1 Apr 2013 #58

It's what happens when the compassionless suffer a loss. Occulus Apr 2013 #62

So we should descend to their level? iandhr Apr 2013 #68

Sauce, for the goose. Occulus Apr 2013 #72

Maybe not your world - 840high Apr 2013 #75

On his son we can agree. Occulus Apr 2013 #76

Using personal tragedy as a prop BeyondGeography Apr 2013 #63

No me. People are PISSED. Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #65

Its too much to ask to show... iandhr Apr 2013 #73

I'm sure many here feel for the son but think the dad drove him to it. Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #78

And its wrong to make statements like that while the body is still warm. iandhr Apr 2013 #80

ummm yeah. no doubt JanMichael Apr 2013 #85

I was talking about common decency iandhr Apr 2013 #86

it's an anonymous internet forum JanMichael Apr 2013 #87

I am no fan of Rick Warren. iandhr Apr 2013 #89

Dad wrote "The Purpose Filled Life". Do you know what kind of opening that is for a tasteless joke? Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #96

I dont care. iandhr Apr 2013 #122

Which is why I didn't do a joke. Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #123

Me too. okasha Apr 2013 #70

not to mention very sad :-( BuddhaGirl Apr 2013 #140

My heart aches for the Warren family. Inspired Apr 2013 #60

That's terrible deutsey Apr 2013 #66

May he rest in peace. My condolences to the family and friends. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2013 #71

Oh no :( PD Turk Apr 2013 #74

May he rest in peace and rise in glory. hrmjustin Apr 2013 #79

+1. tragic. Divine Discontent Apr 2013 #90

I feel sad for everyone who knew the poor soul. Ilsa Apr 2013 #82

ouch struggle4progress Apr 2013 #84

I'll pray for the Warrens. gauguin57 Apr 2013 #91

See? It's a lot more than Pab Sungenis Apr 2013 #93

man that is cold sdfernando Apr 2013 #99

It's what he wishes for me Pab Sungenis Apr 2013 #100

Do we know why he killed himself yet? hrmjustin Apr 2013 #151

Warren's Comments Strike Me as Odd Indykatie Apr 2013 #94

Even more odd, Warren called the suicide a "decision." No one decides to be mentally ill. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #103

Just as no one decides to be gay or straight MarcoS Apr 2013 #121

Should anyone who is mentally ill have rights curtailed... Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #127

Mentally ill people don't have a right to a gun. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #148

Ah, yes, more insults & attacks. Typical. Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #158

Of course the mentally ill have due process rights. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #159

The silly trick questions and the OUTRAGE are tells HangOnKids Apr 2013 #163

LOL. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #165

Trick question? If he was prevented from having a gun... Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #168

Arguing that mentally ill people should have guns is not in the mainstream. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #170

Sounds like poutrage; it would be more convincing if... Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #190

No, I'm just stating the facts. nt SunSeeker Apr 2013 #192

And I see none coming from you. nt Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #194

Complaining about attacks and insults with.... HangOnKids Apr 2013 #161

No attacks & insults issued by me. Re-check your cards. Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #169

Implying I do not think the mentally ill have any rights is an insult. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #171

I asked a reasonable question based on your remarks Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #188

It was not reasonable to accuse me of believing the mentally ill have no rights. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #191

Again, distortions: Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #195

You. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #197

You #102. You #157. You brought it up... Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #198

YOU attacked ME for saying our gun culture lets mentally ill folks have a gun. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #199

Well, at least you admit bring up the subject before I did. There is little credibility left... Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #200

Wow. Just wow. You're so far out there. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #201

You can't take a challenge well, and think it is an attack. Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #202

Not likely Steve HangOnKids Apr 2013 #173

Got nothin' to show? nt Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #189

No one decides to be mentally ill BainsBane Apr 2013 #172

Suicide is the mental illness consuming you. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #177

choices need not be reasoned BainsBane Apr 2013 #182

I get what you're saying. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #185

I agree with that BainsBane Apr 2013 #186

I think the most tragic thing in life is to lose one of your children sdfernando Apr 2013 #97

"I could not help wondering whether this poor child was gay" Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #98

I don't see the usefulness of such speculation. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #160

I disagree... Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #164

If you precede any reason with "IF" just about anything can be justified. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #175

And we all know the internet is no place for that sort of thing. Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #180

No more justified on the internet than anywhere else. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #181

And consider the audience... Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2013 #183

RIP DeSwiss Apr 2013 #101

Very apt quotation. senseandsensibility Apr 2013 #120

Yes, it is a good reminder because..... DeSwiss Apr 2013 #124

"heaven was waiting"....how absurd. Hulk Apr 2013 #104

I'm sorry to hear that. Beacool Apr 2013 #105

It's so sad. musical_soul Apr 2013 #106

Details MarcoS Apr 2013 #107

Rick didn't support the Ugandan bill. musical_soul Apr 2013 #111

Did you miss the last part of that article? MarcoS Apr 2013 #112

Which part of the article did he say that? musical_soul Apr 2013 #113

No offense but MarcoS Apr 2013 #114

Looking at the links around the article.... musical_soul Apr 2013 #115

Can we get answers to my questions MarcoS Apr 2013 #118

He wiffle-waffled when asked on MTP, but later condemned the bill. MADem Apr 2013 #126

His actions and words advanced the thinking that brought about these bills Marrah_G Apr 2013 #132

Disingenuity MarcoS Apr 2013 #133

I am sorry for the family oldandhappy Apr 2013 #108

I wish them peace Douglas Carpenter Apr 2013 #110

Oh, that's horrible DesertRat Apr 2013 #119

This is deeply, deeply tragic RFKHumphreyObama Apr 2013 #128

Depression is very misunderstood, judging by comments here. I have suffered from it for years. Jennicut Apr 2013 #129

"You can't know what is in another person's heart" Patiod Apr 2013 #131

very sad. RIP. Sunlei Apr 2013 #134

My sister drank the Rick Warren koolaid a few years ago, and her poor son is clearly gay Exultant Democracy Apr 2013 #136

Wow. I hope he knows he has your support, if not his mother's. SunSeeker Apr 2013 #139

Rest In Peace Matthew. My condolences to his family and friends. Crabby Appleton Apr 2013 #142

I'm quoting Olivia Pope on this one. Sivafae Apr 2013 #144

Pardon but MarcoS Apr 2013 #166

Nobody's immune from mental illness PolitFreak Apr 2013 #145

I feel for this guy and his family, regardless of his politics yurbud Apr 2013 #147

I have one question, not just for Pastor Warren, but for all kestrel91316 Apr 2013 #152

You really can't see how Union Scribe Apr 2013 #154

I am slamming people who say one thing and expect others to kestrel91316 Apr 2013 #156

It is wrong to use the death of a family member as an occasion to slam anyone. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #162

It's not half as wrong MarcoS Apr 2013 #167

"Not half as wrong" is still wrong. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #176

Just so we're clear MarcoS Apr 2013 #178

About as clear an example of a "false choice" as I have ever heard. yellowcanine Apr 2013 #179

Grief is a normal Human emotion. NutmegYankee Apr 2013 #174

I'm so sorry this happened to this family or any family tavalon Apr 2013 #153

Depression is a horrible illness that kills many people slackmaster Apr 2013 #184

I feel for what the son might have gone through. Jamastiene Apr 2013 #187

Will the Westboro Baptist Church be at the funeral to protest? n/t hughee99 Apr 2013 #193