Glad you're here. I always enjoy throwing the "don't mess with Texas" crap back in their faces.
Very sweetly, I say ...
"Well, I'm from California...
"We're bigger'n you.
"Our population is bigger'n yours.
"Our Congressional delegation is bigger'n yours.
"Our Electoral College delegation is bigger'n yours.
"Our Latino population is bigger'n yours.
"Our economy is bigger'n yours - in fact if CA was a country, we'd be among the top ten economies Of The WORLD.
"Our tourism is bigger'n yours.
"Our entertainment industry is bigger'n yours.
"Our agricultural industry is bigger'n yours.
"Our media markets are bigger'n yours.
"Our surf is bigger and better'n yours.
"Our beaches are better'n yours (and cleaner).
"Our blondes are better'n yours.
"Our cooking is better'n yours.
"Our winemaking is better'n yours.
"Our technology is better'n yours.
"Our style and our fashion are ALL better'n yours.
"Our wilderness areas and national parks are better'n yours.
"Our weather is TONS better'n yours!
"Hell, even our bimbos are better'n yours (hellooooooo Kardashians!)!
"And our governors are better'n yours. Our present governor is compassionate and brilliant and educated by the Jesuits and would NEVER find himself in a public forum where he got so tongue-tied and brain-farted that he actually said 'OOPS!', and even the asshole before him was the FUCKING DAMN TERMINATOR. (Beat THAT! Who'd you have before this latest swaggering ding-dong of yours, george w. war criminal?)
"As I said - I'm from CALIFORNIA. And I'll mess with Texas ANYTIME I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT!!!!!!"
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