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FlaGranny

(8,361 posts)

65. My son's wife is.

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 06:27 AM

Feb 2012

My son's wife left him to go live with her boyfriend and left the kids and my son, all of which completely devastated my son. After her boyfriend had enough and left her, my son supported her, paid for her car, and sent her to school to learn a trade. Then she rented a large home in a gated community, took the kids, and is now living better than my son is. She earns enough for groceries, clothes, and spending money, but he is maintaining two homes. He pays for her insurance and the kids' insurance. He takes the kids on weekends and whenever she wants to get rid of them for a while. He does it because he loves his kids. He doesn't have enough money left over to pay for a divorce. He makes an excellent salary but lives like a poor man.

I cringe when I think of what a divorce attorney could do to him if she decides to divorce him.

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Change On Federal Benefits Payments Could Leave Child Support Debtors With No Income [View all] Purveyor Feb 2012 OP

The solution there is to pay child support currently treestar Feb 2012 #1

+1 mac56 Feb 2012 #3

"Get the child support order modified" Pab Sungenis Feb 2012 #6

+1 proud2BlibKansan Feb 2012 #7

The judges are required to follow a law treestar Feb 2012 #14

So many people do not know or understand the formula thing, different than in the Good Old Days uppityperson Feb 2012 #25

The $50 Minimum Payment relates to "Welfare Pass through" happyslug Feb 2012 #46

My child wasn't on welfare, the father was minimially employed, hence $50 uppityperson Feb 2012 #47

Most Domestic Relations Offices do a $50 in case someone ends up on welfare happyslug Feb 2012 #54

$50? shanti Feb 2012 #95

Knowing how it goes, you probably spent it on something for yourself or your new boyfriend rather uppityperson Feb 2012 #104

right shanti Feb 2012 #94

The Problem is That Many of These Men Can't Afford It On the Road Feb 2012 #21

Men need to be less passive towards the legal system treestar Feb 2012 #37

"The problem is they refuse to go to court and explain" jberryhill Feb 2012 #49

That's another problem - moving treestar Feb 2012 #74

He doesn't have enough money to go to California jberryhill Feb 2012 #78

This particular person is in a real jam treestar Feb 2012 #101

He's been suffering from depression jberryhill Feb 2012 #103

Aust, so not entirely the same. However, My brother was "audited"... TheMadMonk Feb 2012 #58

Amen about putting every red cent through their system treestar Feb 2012 #76

This is so true. Chemisse Feb 2012 #64

Men need to structure their lives differently lark Feb 2012 #97

No offense intended green917 Feb 2012 #59

Many states have net worth caps, making it impossible to have 4k laying around. Sirveri Feb 2012 #61

Don't use a lawyer and go get help from a community organization treestar Feb 2012 #75

And if this father is illiterate? AngryAmish Feb 2012 #90

Then Detroit needs some organization to help people treestar Feb 2012 #100

Detroit is way beyond that kind of thinking. Psephos Feb 2012 #121

But there lies a HUGE problem... SkyDaddy7 Feb 2012 #113

"Child custody & child support decisions should be made by a panel of people who work in family..." uppityperson Feb 2012 #116

Sucks. ForgoTheConsequence Feb 2012 #2

+1 mac56 Feb 2012 #4

Do you know anyone in this situation? proud2BlibKansan Feb 2012 #10

Interesting. ForgoTheConsequence Feb 2012 #13

This. Robb Feb 2012 #15

No - there are no options when you are unemployed and can't find a job proud2BlibKansan Feb 2012 #18

+x100 emilyg Feb 2012 #29

Some of us work 75+ hours a week green917 Feb 2012 #60

I hear your pain brother. When my wife divorced me I negotiated a 50% no fault settlement with my Monk06 Feb 2012 #68

You have both my sympathy for what you've had to go through green917 Feb 2012 #80

Thanks brother and hope your situation improves in the future. Father's parental rights are getting Monk06 Feb 2012 #109

Exactly proud2BlibKansan Feb 2012 #111

They are still adults though who dont deserve to be stepped on by a system thats lacks common sense. cstanleytech Feb 2012 #62

That is what drives me crazy about the current liberalhistorian Feb 2012 #16

I am a Landlord in Baltimore On the Road Feb 2012 #22

I know of few, if any, women who are "better off financially" after a divorce, even with child uppityperson Feb 2012 #26

I am Saying the Mother is Better Off Than the Husband On the Road Feb 2012 #38

"Mother" vs "Husband"? Wow. That was the minimum in AK yrs back. uppityperson Feb 2012 #39

wrong~! shanti Feb 2012 #96

Been there, done that. cstanleytech Feb 2012 #63

My son's wife is. FlaGranny Feb 2012 #65

So, your handyman breaks the law in order to not pay child support??? obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #69

You don't need an attorney to get child support modification done. There are formulas and he can uppityperson Feb 2012 #24

Baloney jberryhill Feb 2012 #79

Baloney back at you. I move away and filed via mail with the state. So did my ex after he moved to uppityperson Feb 2012 #83

Not all states will do that by mail jberryhill Feb 2012 #84

Is Ontario in "the United STATES of America"? uppityperson Feb 2012 #87

That's not true in every state proud2BlibKansan Feb 2012 #112

Which part is not true? thank you. uppityperson Feb 2012 #115

Attorneys are not needed treestar Feb 2012 #36

"Simply take pay stubs or disability determination to the court" jberryhill Feb 2012 #51

Where is that the case? treestar Feb 2012 #73

You obviously have extremely limited experience.... jberryhill Feb 2012 #77

He is in arrears from yrs ago, never paid, and now will go to jail, yet you feel bad because he uppityperson Feb 2012 #86

I'm not sure what you mean by that.... jberryhill Feb 2012 #105

It probably would have been good to file a modification at that time. uppityperson Feb 2012 #106

That case is a good example why people shouldn't wait on modifications..... msanthrope Feb 2012 #88

This is beyond crazy - NEVER go to court on something this important without a lawyer AngryAmish Feb 2012 #91

People saying they can't afford lawyers should just leave the child support order treestar Feb 2012 #99

I do quakerboy Feb 2012 #42

Yep--It's called being a deadbeat parent. He doesn't need a lawyer to modify his child support. msanthrope Feb 2012 #85

Many of the deadbeats cannot get work. existentialist Feb 2012 #11

I have two kids christx30 Feb 2012 #20

Look, I'm gonna give you a bit of advice...... msanthrope Feb 2012 #89

THIS! Earth_First Feb 2012 #114

I feel sorry for all the real people caught in this STUPID dualism of good kid/bad dad saras Feb 2012 #5

+1000 DeSwiss Feb 2012 #8

15 USC 303 existentialist Feb 2012 #9

It isn't always a clear cut issue. schmice Feb 2012 #12

Don't blame the disabled dad. Blame the government McCamy Taylor Feb 2012 #17

SSI can NOT be seized, what is being discussed is SS Disability and other federal benefitsi happyslug Feb 2012 #50

This is bad. varelse Feb 2012 #19

Some of these responses are teabaggeresque at best Umbram Feb 2012 #23

Hearts Umbram!!!!!!! mntleo2 Feb 2012 #71

how can anyone think this would be a good idea? noiretextatique Feb 2012 #27

Another reason for contraception. jbpdx Feb 2012 #28

A child should not have to go without basis needs Thinkingabout Feb 2012 #30

The issue is how the government treats the support payments OnlinePoker Feb 2012 #33

another example of the total bankruptcy of the "nuclear family" concept bread_and_roses Feb 2012 #31

Chile support MJJP21 Feb 2012 #32

Seriously? Paying for housing, food, clothing, expenses for the child doesn't cost much? Seriously? uppityperson Feb 2012 #40

I work two jobs and get child support Marrah_G Feb 2012 #72

Spam deleted by uppityperson (MIR Team) sfghrtjr Feb 2012 #34

I was expecting to see "Fuck the Deadbeats" responses... BiggJawn Feb 2012 #35

I'll say fuck the deadbeat parents, of either sex. Child support is for the child, no matter who uppityperson Feb 2012 #43

Some of you have little inkling of which you speak here, allow me... bobbyblack Feb 2012 #41

Something very similar happened to my brother. Noodleboy13 Feb 2012 #44

Hey, this is a great idea for those behind on student loans, too. woo me with science Feb 2012 #45

I agree, gvt should not garnish ALL of someone's income. uppityperson Feb 2012 #48

+1 JoeyT Feb 2012 #57

If they didn't want that sort of thing to happen, Crunchy Frog Feb 2012 #52

Lets understand the problem, happyslug Feb 2012 #53

Bingo jberryhill Feb 2012 #56

Same way I went to court myself from 1000 miles away. I filed through the mail. uppityperson Feb 2012 #107

Most states that can be done, but some states, especially older cases, NOT True happyslug Feb 2012 #119

A penis is worth a million dollars. boppers Feb 2012 #55

same goes for vaginas SemperEadem Feb 2012 #66

What does marriage have to do with it? boppers Feb 2012 #98

Have you noticed how sexist the resposes are? dotymed Feb 2012 #67

That is not true obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #70

Yes, it is true. Occulus Feb 2012 #82

very true SemperEadem Feb 2012 #108

I started an OP Le Taz Hot Feb 2012 #110

Message deleted by the DU Administrators ELKODCH Feb 2012 #81

this is a bad move shanti Feb 2012 #92

Frankly if I had to choose... Fearless Feb 2012 #93

By no possible logic is this sustainable, your "choice" is not one. It is toxic for society. TheKentuckian Feb 2012 #117

I merely said if I HAD to choose. Fearless Feb 2012 #120

If the non-custodial parent dies of starvation or freezes to death, that doesn't help the kids. Nye Bevan Feb 2012 #102

I have felt for years child support money should be pooled divineorder Feb 2012 #118

"Oh, and before anyone accuses me of being a deadbeat..." LanternWaste Feb 2012 #122