Poroshenko claims Ukraine presidency

[Igel]

42. Akhmetov did a mitzvah last week.

Of course, he's a Russian-speaking Tatar, probably Orthodox, but let's not let that stand in the way of using the word.

On 5/11 there was the ruckus at the police station. That night there was a lot of hooliganism and banditry. (Most of the Russian words are redolent of Izvestiya socialist-speak or 19th century literature, sadly.) The next day wasn't much better. So Akhmetov, the country's richest person, got his metalworkers and miners to team up with police and do two things. (1) Get the DPR bandits off the street. (2) Get the non-DPR hooligans off the street.

Of course, the DPR is incensed because it hates Akhmetov. He doesn't support independence, nor does he want to give the coterie of fools in Donetsk millions of dollars in taxes. Their response is to declare businesses that do this kind of thing "enemies of the people" and to nationalize and liquidate the holdings, kidnapping the owner or whoever, stripping the office of equipment and destroying records. Because nothing helps the people like destroying the businesses that pay them, esp. when it's a few people saying how everything they do is for the people. After all the money's confiscated--literally, since they've been holding up banks and armored cars, even if the money is pension funds--they're sure to need a NEP.

Which explains why the people's mayor in Slavyansk wears Armani suits, drives a BMW with no plates or registration (the BMW dealership was raided and cleaned out last month by the DPR), and has a Mac iBook, even though last year his job was dressing up as Father Frost with the Snow Maiden for private functions. Nothing quite says "serious revolutionary" like Father Frost.