President Obama tried to get a tee time at New York golf courses, got turned down

[DFW]

117. I don't think so. I carry heavy baggage.

I'm married to a European who has no intention of acquiring American citizenship, or even living in the United States. My daughters would never give up their German citizenship, either. They think it's cool being dual nationals. They wouldn't give up their American citizenship, either. Both are their birthright, and they're proud of both.

Even worse, I tend to speak my mind, and I'm not a batshit crazy Republican, so I CAN'T get away with it to the constituency I'd need to support me. Imagine my first press conference:

"Are you liberal or conservative?"

"Sorry but that's a bullshit question."

"Does that mean you aren't willing to say?"

"Check this out, you jackass excuse for a journalist......"

"Hey, wait a minute, there, I AM a journalist!"

"No, you're not. My father was a journalist. Graduated from Columbia School of Journalism, won the Thomas L. Stokes award, led the Society of Professional Journalists, was lauded in the Congressional Record by Representatives and Senators of BOTH parties and was President of the Gridiron Club. HE was a journalist. You are a bullshit gotcha media whore. But to your bullshit question: I am dead set against liberalization of gun ownership laws. On the contrary, I think they need to be tightened. So, am I anti-liberal? No, shut up, just hold that thought. Now, I have been with the same wonderful woman for forty years, have no debts, do no drugs--not even alcohol or nicotine--have worked for the same outfit since being recruited in 1975, and believe in the Constitution as a document that was intended to protect the common man, not the guys who contribute billions to subvert the interests of the population at large. So, am I conservative?

"Shut up, I'll answer that for you. I'm for liberty. That includes liberty to walk down a street while black and not be harassed or shot by some white cop whose battered wife wouldn't have sex with him last night. So, am I liberal? Sure. Am I 'A' liberal? Hell if I know. First you gotta tell me what the fuck you mean by that. If you're from Fox Noise, all that means is another word for 'Democrat.'

"I'm cautious by nature (except when talking to fake journalists), and don't like to make snap decisions or have them forced upon me. Does that make me conservative? Hell, yes, it does. But I'm not 'A' conservative. If you're one of today's media whores, all that means is that you're a rabid Republican, and they are no more 'conservative' by nature than they are factual, and on a scale of one to a hundred, they're in negative territory.

"I don't play golf, I don't go to church, I'm not worth $250 million, and I would not say 'so help me God' if sworn in. You see, there is an Amendment before the Second Amendment, and that is the First Amendment. Read it some time. Make sure you are able to distinguish between the Preamble to the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence by the way. Saves time, I promise, even if Boehner didn't bother.

"Oh, yeah, while we're all here, does anyone have a REAL question?"

I think after that, I'd be polling around 1%, and less if outside Massachusetts or Vermont!