Officer Darren Wilson gets married to fellow Ferguson cop

[JonLP24]

71. I actually have been to the Phoenix, VA

VA also subsidizes my housing so they have been great. They also discovered my hypoglycemia (thanks to physicals I don't have to pay for) which helped give me an answer as to what is wrong with me--especially when it comes to anxiety, nervousness, and confusion.

My only complaint is the long waiting game for prescriptions. Shortly before the scandal broke there was someone passing out cards giving a Facebook address to complain about the VA which baffled me at the time. Guy sitting next to me says, "What do you think?" Told him "best care I ever had" to where he said "We get damn good care."

I don't deny the reality, the length between appointments or the wait time to be assigned a primary care doctor were never a big secret. "Dying while waiting for care" does that mean they died because the appointment wasn't sooner or did they die because they died? I was advised months before that I probably should go to the Southeast clinic since they don't have the sort of traffic the Phoenix VA--one hospital in the heart of Phoenix handling patients from all over the state. I understand there were some secret wait lists to cover up the waiting times -- I don't know who they were hiding it from since it wasn't the best kept secret.

In all honesty, it pales in comparison to the BS I was put through in a Desert Banner hospital where I received better care from the janitor and that isn't a joke or a lie. A hell of a lot more than a waiting period was covered up, I got some good information (which was difficult for something other than medical malpractice against a doctor--I didn't see any doctors while all this was going on except for one to tell me a flat out lie) on what to do but I don't know their names or a name of someone who could be a favorable witness. I went to get all the paperwork, after the initial few pages I went back where he told me nurses notes, everything cost money which I knew before hand and was well prepared to do pay. Basically he seemed like he didn't want to or thinking he was doing me a behavior since he assumed I wanted it for continuing care (I didn't tell him why I wanted it) waved me away when he was on the phone which I did but I wanted to see him do something with the sheet I filled out. I never got anything at all in the mail but I gave up on it, I have been able to block out the memories & found comfort in truth which doesn't change whether anyone knows the truth or not. It is like 2+2=4, truth is always 4. Also the people that were there know the truth.

VA scandal is one of the rare things that still trigger a memory for two reasons. A hospital scandal which unless the VA tortures a patient & almost kills one (or comes close) with unnecessary brutality which for some reason the strange behavior from the staff took place after the most f'd up thing I ever went through. I hate talking about it since it raises my blood pressure which shouldn't effect my judgments of whatever scandal the VA is involved in though I think it is a funding issue as one main hospital in the 7th largest US city with a Southeast clinic serves Veterans all over the state. They also pay out travel pay to everyone that walks-in or appointments and travel pay fraud isn't a well-kept secret like the wait. I remember they sent me refill prescriptions I didn't request shortly after changing my address which is further away than the previous one (pay per mile).

As far as counseling, it has never been something that was helpful. How do you "get into it" and how do you pinpoint and talk about something to help to solve whats bothering me when it could be everything, talking about my issues seems to backfire as an answer. I understand the things go on around me better than the people who aren't around the things that go on around me though I may be horrible in articulating that understanding which leads to the unhelpful feedback. One person was good but he wasn't a therapist, he was a doctor in the mental health field but not a therapist if that makes sense.

Good call on the black dog but I'm content with it. Socializing often leads into problems I didn't bargain for but if I'm not around anybody, I don't run into problems. I don't mean things where I'm wrong or did something that was wrong to another person. I mean people who get upset over their assumptions of things, lies that can really screw up someone's life, and innocent mistakes that led to something big. Sometimes things out of your control lead to some screwed up situations which can be controlled by not being there in the first place.

I have a few friends who were more than fair to me & go above and beyond anyone else these days. I value people that do that because I don't ask for it but was done for me anyways, I always want to avoid potential conflicts from assumptions or misunderstandings so I try to stay away. Normally, I don't care what other people think, I really don't. But, they have been good friends that I've had for awhile now and have managed to kept it that way. Not once did they try take advantage of me which isn't possible anymore since I only do things because I want to do them (with the expectation nobody has to kiss my ass in return) but the fact they didn't try.

Though the black dog leads to boredom which leads to posting too much.