Bullies in public school and ostracism. I first was ostracized at 10 by neighborhood friends. I was devastated and pretty much only had myself as a coping resource. I was so sad and heartbroken. But, I coped and made new friends and worked at it. It was a part of my life, not a defining all consuming part. Other stuff was going on and I really tried not to let it define the rest of my life. I took a lot of sociology and psych courses in HS and early college. It helped me understand people and myself better.
I spent 30 years in CNC Applications and was laid off at 55 in Feb 2009 in what I call the great panic. I got a job 18 months later on the floor - being a user instead of a builder. I changed careers and found I could hack it. 20% pay cut and loss of all those white collar privileges I took for granted for 30 years. But I fended of bankruptcy and going broke.
Well, 3 20-something males, 2 in my department (swiss machining) and one from shipping, filed a complaint with personnel that I was sexually harassing them. My all female outside contractor personnel department got on the job and questioned me. I forget all the questions, but one of them was, "on so and so date, did you not ask James, while at the optical comparator, "Is this some sexy part I made or what?" All accusations were of similar quality, because it is not my nature to attack others, especially other men or women in a sexually or any kind of harassing kind of way.
I lost a lot of sleep over all this. I was hurt and scared.
The company closed up what little American MFG they had left - which was only about 30 people, so there was never a ruling.
a year later I met up with one of my accusers - I asked him directly why they did that, and he said "It was all Phil's idea- he wanted to get rid of you so he could be top dog in the department".
I currently work for the most dehumanizing economic servitude type of operation I have ever experienced. I am proud of myself for being able to to work in such a place every day. Manufacturing is picking up again, dramatically, and I had one great interview last week and one coming up Tuesday.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I am going to do better. PS - My current boss is a major bully, but, he's not Machiavellian. The self control I have learned in relating to him will serve me well for the rest of my working life.
-90% Jimmy
the only people that can truly know how hurtful bullying can be are those that have been victims of it.
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