A Love Letter To Sen. Ted Cruz From a Left-Wing Socialist Hippie Libtard [View all]

[TexasTowelie]

By James Schlarmann

Dear Senator Teddy,

You know, I think I owe you a big apology, Senator Cruz. I’ve written more than a few hundred words in the past about what a despicable partisan hack you are. I’ve pointed out every time you’ve grandstanded pointlessly, every time you’ve made boneheaded comments about knowing what the American people want (while serving the smallest fringe minority of your party, of course), and have generally relished every opportunity to bat you about the ears verbally for your toxic influence on Washington politics. All of that changes today as I pledge my undying love for you, Senator Ted Cruz, Republican from Texas.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, Teddy. I hate your policies. I still hate your whole “snake oil selling bullshit monger” thing you have going on, but I finally see it. I finally see what you’re up to, and I like it. I don’t just like it in fact, I love it. Some have jokingly said you were secretly sent here by some left-wing operative to destroy the GOP from the inside. But I love you precisely because that isn’t the case — in fact the direct opposite is. You actually think you’re “purifying” the Republican party, don’t you? You’re on a damned-fool idealistic crusade and you’ve already got a couple dozen of the more simple-minded members of the House to go along with you. Hell, you convinced them to shut down the government — a move that is going to cost the Republican Party dearly — didn’t you?

It’s easy to see where people would get the idea that you’re actually trying to sabotage the party, but I know better. I grew up in the movement. I know that every few years someone like you comes along. It’s like you’re created from the collected essences Joe McCarthy, Newt Gingrich, and Pat Buchanan. You are ideological purist in the worst way, but more importantly you are the harbinger of death for the current iteration of the Republican Part, and nothing shows that in more naked terms than the fact that recently you were ripped behind closed doors by several of your fellow Republican senators, and the scene was described as a “lynch mob” — which I’m sure got Louie Gohmert’s blood pumping for a wholly different nostalgia-induced reason.

They hate you more than I hate you Teddy, and that’s what’s made me love you. You are so bullheaded, so egomaniacal that I know you will not be getting down off your soapbox any time soon. Frankly, if it weren’t for the 800,000 federal workers already on furlough and up shit creek, I’d pray for you to keep digging in. The more you dig your heels in, the harder the establishment is going to try to remove you, and the closer we become to the Republican Party of 2013 completely immolating, and I finally get that you are going to be the one to do it.

More at http://www.politicalgarbagechute.com/a-love-letter-to-sen-ted-cruz-from-a-left-wing-socialist-hippie-libtard/ .