Flip The Script~ Adoptees want to be heard among the clatter of national adoption month

[citizen blues]

7. As an Adoptee and a Birthmother.....

I think this is great!!!!!

Relying on the typical narrative surrounding adoption to guide any discussion regarding adoption is like relying on "Father Knows Best" as a guide to the typical American family. It's connection to reality is tenuous at best!

People who want to "celebrate" adoption as the be all, end all, and cure all for unwanted pregnancy are in deep, profound denial of reality of human toll it takes on mothers and children. Adoptees spend lifetimes stitching together the patchwork quilts of their identities as they try to discover and define who they are. It's always complex, even more so when the adoptions are cross-cultural, cross-racial, cross-language barriers, and/or cross-faith.

Furthermore, whether the mothers legally surrender their children or abandon them or something in between, each one is facing a lifetime of grieving - usually alone and in silence. Some bury it so deep that even they are unable to acknowledge it. However, it is still there, impacting their lives. The few of us who are lucky enough to know our lost children as adults, still grieve all that could have been and all those lost years.

Today, more than ever, with women's reproductive rights under attack, we need to strip the "pro-lifers" of their absolutely false narrative of how rosy adoption is. As with so many human endeavors, it's messy. Each one of us has our own unique stories. It's time they're heard.