1) The Fox staff had its own table.
2) That table was next to the door to the kitchen.
3) The rest of the room was served $200/bottle California petit sirah.
3a) This is the wine the Fox table was served...
(Yes, that's a real product)
4) There was an arsenic shaker on the table.
5) The other thirty tables in the room were served thyme-roasted Chilean Sea Bass, lasagna, green beans, butter beans and peas.
5a) The Fox table was served MREs.
5b) That had been shipped back from the War in Iraq.
5c) The FIRST War in Iraq.
6) The president refused to stop snorting through his nose when he spoke the words "Fox News."
7) We were expected to bus our own table.
7a) And the other thirty tables.
8) The White House presented journalists with a gift bag.
8a) They ran out before the goodie cart reached our table.
8b) When we went to complain, the maitre d' said, "no sir, there was no mistake...we were told there'd be 240 journalists, we got 240 gift bags...who the hell are you?"
9) When we returned to the parking lot, our car was missing. The part of the curb it was next to had a fresh coat of yellow paint.
9a) While we were waiting for a cab to take us to the DC impound lot, the president came out of the building to thank us for coming. There was still yellow paint on his hands.
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