Adoption Affects on Birthmothers

[me b zola]

25. The insensitivity of your post made me catch my breath

Rather than me speak my mind, I'll offer a link for you to get the basics:

Lifelong Issues in Adoption

Adoption is a lifelong, intergenerational process which unites the triad of birth families, adoptees, and adoptive families forever. Adoption, especially of adolescents, can lead to both great joy and tremendous pain. Recognizing the core issues in adoption is one intervention that can assist triad members and professionals working in adoption better to understand each other and the residual effects of the adoption experience.

"...Adoption triggers seven lifelong or core issues for all triad members, regardless of the circumstances of the adoption or the characteristics of the participants:

1. Loss

2. Rejection

3. Guilt and Shame

4. Grief

5. Identity

6. Intimacy

7. Mastery/control

(Silverstein and Kaplan 1982).

Clearly, the specific experiences of triad members vary, but there is a commonality of affective experiences which persists throughout the individual's or family's life cycle development. The recognition of these similarities permits dialogue among triad members and allows those professionals with whom they interface to intervene in proactive as well as curative ways.

~~more at link~

http://www.adopting.org/silveroze/html/lifelong_issues_in_adoption.html

And I loved Claudia's statement about her pirate boy. I luckily landed with family that was similar to at least my biological paternal family, but I totally got her point.